Bone Scan

Today was the full body bone scan.  Yesterday when they called to remind me about the appointment that they had just made for me yesterday, I was finally smart enough to ask if I was allowed to eat and drink.  Normally I don't think to ask, and it should be noted, even when they have told me, that does not mean that I was paying attention at that time.  So this time I asked, and they said there were no restrictions.  So I had a lovely breakfast before heading to work.  Then I headed to the radiology office for the bone scan.  They took me back to the deepest recesses of the building and left me there.  Soon someone came out, shot me up with radioactive dye and told me to come back at 2.  Well, not before warning me that I needed to make sure that I drank 4 - 8 oz glasses of water before I returned, otherwise the radioactive dye would settle in my kidneys and bladder.  See, I really wish they wouldn't give me these kind of instructions.  "Don't cough too hard or you will rip your lung."  I mean come on, who thinks up these things to say to us non-medical people?  I appreciate the warnings, I mean I don't want radioactive material settling in my kidneys and bladder.  Not that I really understand what that means, but it does sound awful.  So I drank 6 - 8 oz glasses of water, so there.  


So I head back over to be there at 2:00 pm.  I had told Ms Moon and Sweetie not to worry about going with me, because all they were going to do was put in a table that moved in and out of a machine.  No, they keep asking me questions.  When did you injure your neck?  How did you injure your left hip?  Have you had back surgery?  Have you ever injured the left side of your rib cage?  To each question no, I have not hurt, injured or have any problems other then how I was born.  So when I was talking to Ms Moon after the appointment and I got to this party, she said, "what about the accident in New Orleans"  Damn!  How did I not remember being in New Orleans with the world famous Spumonii Sisters (the world's greatest all female clown troupe.  Ok, as far as we knew we were the only all female clown troupe) when in a rain storm a car hydroplaned into the passenger side of the Honda Civic I was in.  We were on our way to Jackson Square performing street theater.  I was thrown out of the passenger window that had been rolled up prior to me going through it head first and landing on the windshield of the car that had hit us leaving a white face from my makeup clearly on the windshield.  I had had my seatbelt on prior to the accident, but the car got squished up with my seat coming up and on the driver's seat.  I had a pretty bad concussion from the incident but had never thought that of course my neck would have been affected.  This happened 30 years ago, long before I had the pleasure of knowing Ms Moon, and she remembered the incident and I didn't.  damn! 

After the bone scan then they took me in have x-rays of you guessed it, neck, left hip and left rib cage.  I continued to drink water last night still fearing the radioactive material they had sent through my veins, and then the X-rays of my body.  And the most amazing thing is that I still don't glow.  Really, I have glow in the dark stars on my bedroom ceiling, and they glow, but nope, no glowing here yet.  That is probably a good thing.

So now all we do is wait.  Because the doctor had put ASAP on all the orders, and I whined to each technician to make sure that if they found anything questionable, to please take an extra picture or whatever they do so that we can find this weenie, hiding, sneaky little cancer.  Everyone said that the doctor would have the results back by Thursday, so hopefully we will see him on Friday.

When I was growing up cancer was called "The Big C".  I still hear that at times, and I have come to think of my cancer as a little "c".  Lower case, fine print, maybe in italics, just a wee cancer, a little "c".  Maybe because I am embarrassed about how much attention I have, or what a big deal I have made of having cancer.  But the more doctors I see, the more I feel like I am a big fake.  Yes, I have cancer.  But people with sinus infections seem to be suffering more from their ailment than I am, so really I guess I do belong in the Stage Company at the Opera House, because I am such a drama queen.

well, once again last night I had lost my internet connection and all but one paragraph of this blog entry.  But I have pieced parts of it back in here.  After all this is my journal, and the therapy of writing about this is very healing for me.  So what does it matter that I loose pages and pages of the entries, I have written them, the worries and concerns have diminished by writing.  But now it is time to do other things.  And the cancer?  Well we will have to wait to talk to the doctor to see what the next step is.  But I do know that Ms Moon and Sweetie do not have any problem going with me, holding my hand, laughing with me, telling me not to go there when I start to imagine the worse.  And when they are not there because I don't want to impose people ask me questions or tell me things and I don't pay attention or remember.  This is not the disease, but a reaction to the disease as I pull more into myself.  But that will have to be journaled another day.  Today is a normal day with no doctors, I can pretend I am well, and just be my normal.