Sittin On A Porch

Sittin On A Porch
Our little back porch

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


Christopher has gone viral. Yep, yesterday I wrote about him on my blog and so did Ms Moon, so to him it felt like he was everywhere on the network and I have to say, for a 10 year old that is pretty exciting. Shoot, don’t we all like to see our names in writing?

So I dropped him off at space camp again this morning and he took off to his classroom. I called out to him and asked him if he wanted me to cause a scene for him? He said no. I said I could cry at the door and tell you how much I will miss you? He said, ah, no. I said well I could come to the door and throw kisses to you. He said no. Ok, I said if you don’t want me to embarrass you I guess I will just go. He smiled and waved and ran off. I swear he is just so darn precious and I am so happy to have him here. I am thinking of not giving him back at the end of the week. Really, he is no trouble. He doesn’t eat much and he sleeps on the couch and can work the computer on his own (ok, better then me on a lot of things) and Bob and Harry both love having their own boy. I am not sure that his parents will go along with that, but I bet his older brother Nathaniel would not mind if I kept his little brother. And Nathaniel and Christopher are good friends. They get along great and I have heard each one of them say that they like their brother. But come on, what big brother would really mind having a little more time with out their little brother hanging around bugging them?

And today was the meeting with Dr. B to set up the chemo appointment. I think I frustrate Dr. B. I ask for pain medication and then everything he names I don’t want. You see I get nauseous with so many medications. Nausea so bad that I end up having to stay at home in bed. So I understand what Dr. Newman says about managing the pain because if you are sick your body is not healing as well as it could. I do understand that, and it makes sense. But I don’t want to take something that is just going to make me sick on top of the pain. And I can not take anything with Tylenol. So that does away with things like percocet, darvocet, etc. Actually I have taken darvocet before and as long as I only take one pill every 25 hours or so, I am fine. But that is really not a good pain management if you can only take them that often. And really I am not in that much pain. But like Ms Moon points out, part of the exhaustion I am dealing with is pain. See I don’t think of those things. But I know she is right. So then Judy talked with Dr. B about how they had managed her pain using Ativan. It is an anti-anxiety med, but it also helps to calm the stomach so hopefully I can take my prescription strength ibuprofen with an ativan and not get sick. That is the plan anyway. Dr. B said he had never heard it used that way, but could see how that might help, so gave me the prescription. This is not a narcotic, so I still haven’t had to rely on that. But shoot, reading all the side affects and problems with Ativan, I can tell you right now, it is not going to be my best friend. But I will use as necessary, and hopefully I will not need to take it that often.

After the doctor visit Ms Moon, Judy and I met Lily and Owen at Circa Sushi. It was a lovely visit and Ms Moon and I got to stuff noodles and sprouts and chicken in Owen’s mouth. He is such a good eater. It is always a special treat to get to see Owen.

So three radiation treatments, 10 to go. This morning when I took my shower I notice the first bit of red in the box where they are radiating. They said the skin would get “burned” like sun burned. And this afternoon I will show them so they can watch to know when I need to start using the burn cream. The throat is a little scratchy, but still no big discomfort there. And so life just keeps passing day by day, moment by moment, and I am still strong and happy and feeling blessed to be going through this.


  1. One thing I do like about Dr. B a great deal is that he is open to suggestion. Even though he had never heard of using the Ativan in that way, he just said, "Okay," and wrote you the 'script. I also like the fact that he used the word, "puke". Such a good word and so rarely used in the medical profession.
    Mostly though, can I say that I adore Christopher? He is everything a boy should be and you are so lucky to have him come and visit and he is so lucky to have you as his aunt.
    And boy! He's learning a lot this week! Did you have to answer questions about "being in heat" last night?

  2. You are strong, and I am glad you are happy.

  3. I am reading your posts backwards, newest first. I agree with you, I don't tolerate pain meds well either. I have chronic pain from my neck and a now healed shoulder injury, and nothing much worked without making me sick or giving me nightmares. But ativan and xanax both help me feel less pain and sleep better. I've got untold bottles of pain meds in the cabinet, and I tried one or two and said no thanks. And I believe pain can make you tired and wear you down. My mom also tried Wellbutrin or one of those and they helped as well. Good luck!