Sittin On A Porch

Sittin On A Porch
Our little back porch

Thursday, August 5, 2010

A boy and his chicken and a dry run

I think the prescription strength Ibuprofen is too much. I took one yesterday morning along with the tramadol. That was what Dr. B thought would probably be the best bet, and I couldn’t remember if they made me sick. I think they do. Yesterday afternoon I started feeling puny and by the time I was ready for my radiation I realized that I was really not doing as well as I thought. So before they put on the mask I told the Therapist that if I raised my hand it was because I was going to vomit and please get the mask off ASAP. They said no problem. They are wonderful and we laugh. Yesterday I showed them the scarf that Mary gave me. They thought it was wonderful, but one did ask me if the color combination might not be the reason I was sick. Then he felt bad and tried to dig himself out of the hole by talking about the color wheel but we were all laughing so hard, that he gave up. They were impressed though with the blessed mother, uh huh, they were!

But I made it through the treatment with no problems. They have a vomit bag ready for me if I need it, but thank goodness I did not.

So basically I have poisoned myself. Great. But really when you think about it, this is probably sort of close to how I will feel with the chemo, so this was a dry run. And yes, I did not feel well at all. I lay in bed and tried to keep the room from spinning and to sip my water. I have to get this stuff flushed out of my system, but the best I can do is to take little sips. But I am tenacious and I will just keep sipping. It is Phyllis birthday, so her section brought in bagels. I have managed to eat a half of a plain bagel. I think that was a good thing. I did have a piece of toast last night, that did not sit well, but I tried another piece of toast this morning, and I kept it down, so that was when I decided to try to go to work.

But last night Christopher and I drove home, we were supposed to have dinner with my friends Debbie and Steve, but Debbie understood and Christopher and I made it home just fine. I was pretty sick by that point, so I just went straight into the house and put on my nightgown and lay down. Christopher fixed his own supper, and did a fine job. And then he would come in with his chicken, David Smith and check on me, he would rub my arm and my head and tell me that I was going to be OK. He is such a great kid. And he loves his little peep, David Smith. Zora has her three to take care of and Bea is just not a very good mother, so I didn’t think we had any choice but to move David Smith out of the coop and into the house for fear that he just didn’t have a chance in there without a mama looking after him. I know Mary and I have said this many times about Owen and his rooster Elvis, “a boy and his chicken is a beautiful thing”. And I have to say that about Christopher and David Smith. He even got up a half hour earlier this morning, on his own, to feed David Smith. He made tiny little crumbs out of a piece of bread and David Smith just pecked away at the crumbs and loves his boy so much. I wish that Christopher could take David Smith home with him. But I am not sure that his parents are going to be as excited about their son and his chicken as I am. But Christopher understands that David Smith is his chicken wherever he lives. David Smith is really going to miss his boy. So are Bob and Harry.

So after feeding David Smith and packing Christopher’s overnight bag, he is spending tonight with his cousin’s John and Meg, we headed out to feed the rabbits and chickens. Christopher does a wonderful job corralling the chickens. I had been so sick last night that I did not close up the chicken coop or think to ask Christopher to do so. So when we came out this morning the chickens were already out in the yard scratching and clucking. I went into the coop to give Zora and Bea and their three peeps some treats, but they were not there. No sign of a struggle. The rest of the chickens seem calm and happy, but no Zora or Bea or the peeps. My heart just broke. Now, they may be just fine. They may have taken the babies out into the yard and then into the brush along the fence line. I was not well enough this morning or have the time to go and look for them. OK, I was also a coward and did not want to take a chance of finding something while Christopher was there that would upset him, OK and me. I will look when I get home this evening. And who knows, they might be out just scratching in the yard acting like nothing is wrong when I get home. I do hope so. I would hate to loose Bea and Zora and the three new ones.

We did find another day old peep in the coop. So that added to the mystery of where the other 5 are. This little peep is not going to make it without a mama to help it to get food and water. So David Smith has a companion in the bathroom. We have put together a waxed box with hay and feed and water and a little peep house made out of a hand towel. David Smith likes to sleep in it when we turn the lights off. And this new little peep was thrilled to be with David Smith. And David Smith was so sweet to the new peep. When I left the two of them were standing together while David started to eat. Hopefully the little peep will follow suit. Raising peeps this way is really not for the faint of heart. It would be much easier to take the eggs and put them into an incubator and have all the peeps hatch at once and then put them into a nursery. But no, I have to let the chickens do it themselves and then I have to go through the heart break of watching each peep struggle and then bury those that don’t make it. It is hard. I do hope Zora and Bea and the three little ones will be fine. They were fine peeps growing up strong and healthy and just so cute.

So a day filled with chickens and nephews, dry runs and work. Life is full, and I have to admit when I first got sick I felt so bad and wanted to cry. I mean here is Christopher and I want to spend time with him and I want to take care of him and make sure that he has dinner and someone to be with in the evening. But he was the grown up and took care of himself, and his chicken and me. And when I saw that he was fine and was so sweet taking care of me. I relaxed and realized here is my chance to be the better me. Don’t cry and whine and moan about being sick. This is what happens when you have cancer and have to take all these meds, you get sick. And if this journey is going to be about learning to be the best me I can be, then relax and appreciate this sickness. Appreciate that your 10 your old nephew is so loving and kind and such a great kid that he wants to take care of you. And called Ms Debbie to let her know that we had gotten home so she wouldn’t worry and he let her listen to David Smith. And then he called his parents and grand parents and told them about how he was taking care of me, which he was and let them all listen to David Smith, That peep definitely has earned the name “peep”. It is never quite. Never. But it loves his boy, and his boy loves it. And that boy? He is a fine, handsome, kind, sweet young man. And he taught me such a valuable lesson last night. And hopefully I will be a stronger less whiny person as this process goes through and I get sick once in a while. I will just try and think of him. And I will want to be the better person because of him.


  1. This just makes me cry for so many reasons.
    I love you...Mary

  2. I'm so glad that you had Christopher with you last night.