Sittin On A Porch

Sittin On A Porch
Our little back porch

Monday, August 29, 2011

It just keeps getting better and better

I went to see Dr. M today.  I can't tell you how much I love the people I work with at the Oncology Center.  Ashley and Bobbie, Dr. M's nurses,  Allison, the receptionist, Dr. M of course, Stephanie, my scheduler, Betty Ann, my first friend there, Ms Mary, Jasmine, who takes my blood, and so many that I can not think of their names this minute.  They always have a smile on their face and something nice to say to me.  And of course, there is that whole saving my life thing.

I can't help but think about how different things would be if I had not had Dr. Susan refer me there.  Seriously, I would probably not be alive.  No, really.  I know we can not truly know the road not traveled, but I was so very very sick this time last year and getting sicker.  The cancer was still spreading, the chemo wasn't working, and my doctor had basically told me to go home to prepare. Then as I have told this story countless times, I called my dear friend Rich who called his sister, Dr. Susan who called the Oncology Department and interviewed the doctors and set me up to be with the absolutely adorable and amazing Dr. M.  Who by the way is feeling pretty sure of himself these days.

Why?  Because once again my numbers are even better then they were last month.  I keep this up and no one will believe I even have cancer.  Not even me.  

The only thing he would like me to work on is gaining weight.  He asked me why I am not gaining weight.  I really didn't have an answer.  I told him it was the heat.  But it is also that I don't like cooking for myself.  I love to cook for others, but not so much for myself.  Because food just doesn't hold an interest for me like it did before.  Food just doesn't taste the same, smell the same.  Also when I look in the mirror, one minute I look scrawny, the next like I am 600 pounds, so it is hard to try and gain weight when you are confused about what you should weigh.  And when I eat, it is not like I gain weight.  My stomach just gets bigger, like a snake, and then I have my stomach issues and everything seems to just evacuate and my weight is the same.  I am hoping that exercise will build muscle which we have all been told our entire lives weighs more then fat.  So that seems to be my best hope.  Who knew that at this age I would be worrying about gaining weight. 

I have such an odd perspective about myself physically.  I try and look my best, but some how I rarely look at myself and go, "you go girl!  You look good!"  I think I look my best in my toy with the top down.  Because I feel happy.  I feel successful in that car.  I don't know why.  Maybe because it is the perfect car for me at this point in my life.  

I stopped by Publix on my way home from seeing the fabulous Dr. M and before I walked up to the check out I looked at my cart, fruit, veggies, a carton of 2% milk.  Not weight gaining food.  So I picked up some full fat cottage cheese, I think it is 4%, and then I picked up a box of ice cream, moose tracks.  There, high calorie food.  

I got home and did several loads of laundry.  I missed a shirt as I carried one load out to the solar dryer (clothes line) so I started the next load and then walked out to hang out the shirt, and the clothes I had just hung up less then 15 minutes before were dry, so I folded them and brought them in.  Now really, that is amazing for a place with the kind of humidity we have here.

I took care of some chores around the house, took a walk, talked to the neighbors about the road meeting on Thursday and then jumped in the toy and drove up to the Opera House for auditions.  I am not interested in getting a part.  The only part I think I could even do would be Ranger Don.  this calls for a woman dressed as a man, or a man dressed as a woman, and I am not really sure which way our new Director is going to go with it.  She liked my reading and asked me to read for another part along with all the other woman who had come.  It is really an honor to get to audition with the level of talent that was there tonight.  Ms Moon, Marcie, Amanda, Jan and Tiffany.  I have worked with each of these ladies and they are all wonderful.  I was last to read for the part.  It is the Assistant to the Secretary of State.  She has never "been" with a man, so she is clumsy in her attempts to woo this Former Marine Sargent.  I definitely over acted, but what the heck?!?!!  I was so aggressive in the part that Fred, Marcie's husband who was reading for the Marine Sargent got so nervous he asked me to back up a little.  I was only trying to follow the blocking instructions.  But I told the Director that I would prefer to be behind the curtain doing lights or sound.  She said there would be lots to do there, so I would think that with the amazing talent reading that I will probably get to do the lights.  Honestly, I love to audition because you can just go crazy.  And I love rehearsals because you get to play with your dearest friends, but I don't care for performances.  It is just so much pressure not to let everyone down.  

Ednarose has lost all of her hair on her face.  She has a line running along the top of her head just at her ears.  All the hair above that line is fine, most of the hair below that line is gone.  She is also missing most of her hair on her chest, tummy and inside of her legs.  She is starting to get some grown up teeth and i can't tell if she looks like a hyena or a baboon (minus the red butt).  But she is still adorable.  And growing so fast and constantly playing, running, playing, jumping, playing, biting, playing, climbing and playing.

All in all a pretty good day.  I am feeling more like me and doing the things around the house that need to be done.  I hope to get out and do some gardening again soon, but it has been awfully hot.  Tomorrow I will go to HOPE and then yoga.  I am really looking forward to that.  And I am proud of myself for getting out there and getting my walk in, and even though I would not say that I did yoga,  I did do some stretching throughout the day.  My house is finally starting to look like I live here again.  It is cleaner and although there is still so much more to be done, I think I am fairly ready for Sioux to come and visit this weekend.  I am trying to find some time to head down to Trenton to exchange the roosters for a couple of hens.  I am happy with my choice of John C. Bennett.  He is a polite rooster.  He is not the most aggressive, which is a plus in my mind.  he is not the showiest, but he is kind to the hens, unlike the weird white and brown one who is quite smitten with Ms Buttercup.  Meanwhile Buttercup is not only not smitten by him, but she appears to loathe him, and every time he has his way with her, she turns on him and grabs at least one feather in his tail out.  I have tried to explain to her that this is one of the reasons he is so fond of her.  He obviously likes his hens with some gumption.  But my advice to her goes unheeded, and honestly, I would rather that she stand up to him, and I want to get him away from her as soon as possible.  She is getting old, by hen standards and should not have to be dealing with this..... cock.  Excuse me, I am using the technical term here.  

The dogs and cats are all asleep.  I see Bob open his eyes and stare at me every once in a while, like have I lost my mind being up so late.  And I think I have.  So now to bed and to sleep.  Sweet sleep.  It has been a good day.


  1. I know we don't know each other, but I am SO GLAD you got referred to this doctor and team. !!! Wow. So he started you on a new regime of different chemo? Was that it?

    I love the name Buttercup. We had a bunny named Buttercup once but our dog killed it :( That was very sad.

    I love how you love your car. I have some of my most joyful moments in my car when all my kids aren't there (sorry kids! ) and I can turn up the music really loud and feel the wind and I feel so free and happy :) I'd like to die like that, wind in my hair, sky and sun on my face.


  2. You were SO good last night. SO good. It was fun, wasn't it?
    None of my hens acts like Buttercup after sex. They just lie in submission as if whoa-is-me-this-is-my-destiny. She is a special hen.
    You are a special woman.

  3. I love the lightness of heart in this post. And what a fine problem tp have, the need to gain weight! I am so glad you found Dr. M. And you do look loverly dah-ling, I can only imagine you tooling around in your toy with the top down. Fabulous.