Sittin On A Porch

Sittin On A Porch
Our little back porch

Monday, December 5, 2011

Holding down the fort

Captain Mac came by and picked up Spat.  He got word from the hospital that they ran the scans and their are no active brain waves.  Spat has gone to the hospital to sign the no resuscitation form.  He has also spoken to her father about arrangements. 

All of us are walking around trying to do what is needed.  What is asked of us.  But some, like Spat and Colleen's Dad are having to do things neither of them ever dreamed they would have to do.  I can not believe I will not hear that woman's voice again.

I am not sure that we are all in denial and trying to just go through the motions without absorbing the reality of what all this means.  How can Colleen not sit up and start telling jokes?  How will we get by with out her laugh.  How are we going to do this?

I can't imagine how Spat, Colleen's family, and her best friend Linda are dealing with this.  I am sitting alone holding down the fort.  I could not leave and have Spat come home to a dark empty house.  If all I do here is to be quiet, to stand next to him with my hand on his back, then I want to be here to do it.

I appreciate so much what Judy and Denise have done for me to let me come here and be with these people. 

And isn't that how the world works, each of us needing some assistance, and each of giving the assistance we have to give.

This afternoon there was a knock on the french doors on the side of the house.  Not where people would walk up and knock.  I walked to the door and there were the two sandhill cranes.  Spat and Colleen feed them like pet chickens.  Only these birds are huge.  I think the male stands almost 5 feet tall.  I gave them their bread and then wanting to share a picture of these beautiful large birds I took my computer out, and after missing many good photos.  I figured out how to take a photo to share with you.

Sandhill crane
Tomorrow I will drive back to Monticello to go to my doctor's appointment in the early afternoon.  Depending on what happens tonight, I will either drive back tomorrow or stay over night and then come back on Wednesday.  All I know right now is Spat does not want to stay down in St. Pete, even though he has family and friends there to support him.  He wants to come home.  To his and Colleen's home.  The home they built together. 
I understand. 
I feel her here also. 
Colleen, take care sweetheart. 
take care


  1. I found your blog through Elizabeth and Ms. Moon - you have enlightened me, reminded me what goodness is and feel blessed to have read your words. I pray for your Spat and Colleen...and for you. I will keep reading your blog and enjoy kindness and courage in its finest form. -Mar

  2. Hello my friend: I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend Colleen and for the pain Spat must feel. So good of you to be there for him, and good of your neighbors to take care of the kids so you can be there for Spat.
    Oh, The Web of Life.....

    It never ceases to amaze me how times like these cause us to see past the normal B.S. in our lives to see our better selves and rise to meet the needs of those we love. Bless you for being you. Love