Sometimes I think in the beginning besides just wanting to learn something new, I think part of why I had started this whole business of soap making was to write and to have my writing out there. So I wrote these crazy soap labels. And I had so much fun. I kept a pad next to the bed and during the night, in my sleep I would write names and sentences and sometimes complete labels or recipes. I know it sounds crazy, but I am very productive in my sleep. It is not always that restful, but I will give up a little bit of rest sometimes to work something out that is bugging me.
Yesterday while making the bergamont/vanilla cream and the lavender/oatmeal one of the mixers went rogue and jumped out of the pot and starting spewing soap all over the kitchen. Oh, but this is not soap ready to use. No it takes 48 hours to cure before you can cut it. Then the soap will continue to mellow for about week and just keeps getting better. But at this point where saponification has just taken place this is very base and harsh. Very harsh on the skin and as I walked into the kitchen (gloves on, eyes behind glasses) the mixer had quit speckling the room with the creamy drops. I turned off the mixer and turned a 360. What a mess!
The soap had traced and was ready to have the essential oils and any herbs, flowers, clay or other additives blended in. Slowly turning the soap over and over on itself incorporating the scent, streaking the soap with color or texture. I had planned on making the last two batches last evening, I had plenty of time, but at that moment I barely had the energy to finish mixing the soap and pour it into my big wooden molds. So I poured the soap and finished those 2 batches and thought, if you wait for 3 days to come back into the kitchen all the spots will be cured soap and easy to clean off.
I laughed a dry laugh at thinking that I would be able to walk away from a kitchen for that long. I cleaned up the biggest mess and those spots that were in my way and called it a night.
I came back out into the living room and tried to get my address labels updated. Unfortunately I can not figure out the new Office Word label program. I have just too much knowledge and no where near enough knowledge to get it.......yet. but I will give it one more shot this morning, and then I am cutting my list and writing the addresses by hand. I am determined to get my card and packages in the mail by Saturday. Friday if at all possible. We will see.
So the kitchen is cleaned up and ready to make my next two batches of soap. My heart is happier than it has been in a while. I spoke to Linda yesterday and she said the Mass for Colleen was just perfect. She said everyone held up well and there were lots of people there who loved our Colleen and came to say good bye. She said all in all if you have to do this type of thing, it was perfect. I was so happy to hear that. I had wanted to go, but knew it was just too much. And it is only 2 weeks until Christmas and I am still making the soap I should have made last week, but I was not here, and so now I am a week behind. But I will do what I can do, and just like being in a play, no one else has a copy of my script, so they will not know if I have to cut a few lines here and there.
The sky is blue that just emits a light that raises your head, slows your breathing and fills your eyes. Its vastness peeking in between branches and leaves filling my heart with hope and energy and happiness again. Oh, I have missed this feeling. Is it all the light? The blue skies?
And this week I spent the afternoon with Mary and Judy. It was the best holiday party I could ever hope for, so I am skipping the one today at the office. It was so very sweet of them to remember me and to make sure I was invited. And normally I love this party. We always laugh and have so much fun together. But I am not up for people right now. I am happy today, but part of that happiness is the peace and quiet and getting things done here kind of happiness. Not the let's go out and deal with human beings kind of happy. I am still too raw and tender from loss to do that today.
I wish them well and hope they have a wonderful time. I will be sitting here working on Christmas cards, knitting scarves, getting up and making the last two batches of soap for the year.
It has been fun on the computer meeting some new people lately, and reconnecting with others I have not heard from for years. After these past two weeks and living in seclusion for part of it I feel the need to be a little closer to people. In a virtual sort of way right this minute. Getting to meet people and chat and not have to actually go out and be with people, that has been the best part of this week.
Mary and Judy were getting into their cars on Monday when I yelled out happy holidays. Mary is not celebrating Christmas this year, so although I may have found a few things that she and Mr. Moon might enjoy, I do not want her to break her splendid plan for this time of year. The three of us had so much fun not worrying about the holiday and parties and presents and cooking. We just spent some together, and it was so perfect. So perfect.
Just three woman
but somehow form a triangle of love and support
these two woman hold my heart in their hands
and I theirs
Now to quit chatting and emailing and get up and make that soap. Then to write the labels and write Christmas cards.
On this glorious beautiful day.