Sittin On A Porch

Sittin On A Porch
Our little back porch

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Surprise, surprise, I am tired

Well, it is the same familiar story, I am tired.  Tired to the bone, muscle, veins, arteries, blood, cells, atoms, tired. I understand that it is mostly staying up late for the play.  That is why I never schedule a pick up rehearsal (rehearsal in between show weekends) on Thursday. It wears me out doing a late rehearsal on Thursday, then the show on Friday and by Saturday I am just flat worn out.  Please don't say I do too much.  It is cancer.  Yes, I am a busy person.  Always have been.  I have cut back so much in the last two years, but it is the one side effect from the cancer that just whoops me.  I an not able to recover like a normal person.  After doing Thursday, Friday, Saturday night shows/rehearsals and a Sunday matinee last weekend I was pretty tired, but then you do this third weekend of late night shows and it will take me weeks to recover. 

I realize that I am on the go with Dad here.  Thursday we drove up to Thomasville so I could do my workout and go to yoga class.  I realized how tired I was as I was doing my workout and my body was definitely feeling the weariness.  I had to move down on some of the weights, and I broke a full glow, which is my version of perspiring.  Yoga was good, but again, I could feel it.  At first I blamed it on not having time to do my regular exercises, but today as my body feels like it has been run over by an elephant, I know that I am just pushing myself too far.  Thursday night when I got to rehearsal I was dealing with stomach issues, and I sat down and I was tired.  I felt it and the realization of what I was doing to myself again hit me in the chest with an exhaustion that is all too familiar.

Friday Dad and I drove up to Conehaven Plantation and attended the senior picnic.  I was amazed how many people I knew there.  It was great after only three months at the Y and I have made some very dear friends there.  It was a cold day, way too cold for Dad and I to be on a pond with the wind blowing and the temps barely in the 60s.  But there was food galore.  I had made 2 dozen pumpkin spice muffins and 4 dozen cranberry orange muffins.  Just bite size bits of flavor.  In the process of getting the dogs into the pasture and Dad into the car I forgot the muffins.  sigh.  It was a lovely drive up and we made it in perfect time for lunch.  I wore my red boots and red suede jacket.  My boots were the hit of the picnic.  Several of my friends put dibs on those boots.  I had to laugh because one of them just might end up with them if I keep wearing myself out and kick off early.  Just kidding.

Today I went up to the Opera House and helped Jan to set tables for dinner, and then picked up chicken feed.  I came home and Dad and I drove into Tallahassee to Wally World so Dad  and I could pick up some stocking stuffers.  We got home and I made brownie cookies for tonight and now I will go and lay down for about 45 minutes to try and recover enough to have the energy needed for the play tonight.  Another long night. 

The play has gone very well, and I have loved the opportunity to work under another director.  I love the directors I have worked with at the Opera House, but it is always fun to get the opportunity to work with someone new.  And she has taught me so much about directing and acting.  I learn each time I work for someone new and Barbie has given me a lot of tools for directing in the future.  She is pretty darn amazing.  And getting to work with her entire family has been such a joy.  Tonight is closing night, and I have loved being a part of this show, and getting to do all the different things that I have been able to do has been just what I needed right now.  But the hours have just whooped my butt.  Whooped it.  Some of the cast members are going to stay over tonight for a slumber party at the Opera House.  I would love to stay and be a part of that.  But I can not leave Dad here alone with the dogs.  And I can not afford loosing anymore sleep or rest then I have already lost. 

Tomorrow is the Annual Stage Company Meeting and I will go up to the Opera House tomorrow and help to break down the set.  I will make an appetizer and more brownie cookies to take.  And Dad will probably stay here at the house, and I will come home and I will be so happy to have been a part of this amazing opportunity.  I will also be so happy to be back to a schedule where I am not up until after midnight each weekend.  I am a morning person, and so are my animals.  So I rarely get to stay in bed after 7:00 am, and well, less than 8 hours, shoot, less than 9 hours wears me out, barely getting seven hours simply does not cut it anymore. 

So, nothing new.  Dad and I are enjoying our time together.  We are getting a lot done.  I have my soap ready for tonight to give as closing night gifts to the cast and crew.  I like my new label.  It may change as time goes by, but it is a good start.  I will be giving away mint/eucalyptus, orange/rosemary and lavender/oatmeal soaps for people, and all of them are called "I can do that."  It is the line in the show that makes us all giggle, that we catch ourselves saying all the time, always with a smile on our lips.  I am exhausted, but feel good about everything that Dad and I have accomplished.  I am proud of myself for being able to memorize my few lines.  I am proud of all the different ways I have been able to give.

This is the time of year to be thankful for the year, for the bounty, for friends and beloved ones.  And as I write "beloved ones" faces flash across my mind and I can not help the smile that lights my face.  Yes, I am so weary, but I am thankful for the weariness.  For the life that I have, and for the time I get to spend with my Dad, my fellow actors/crew, my friends, my beloved ones.

1 comment:

  1. It's so sad that you won't be able to attend the slumber party...
    No. Seriously. I mean it.
    Love you, baby.