Sittin On A Porch

Sittin On A Porch
Our little back porch

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The last day

So tomorrow is chemo.  Today is the last day before my next chemo treatment and I felt great.  I went to work and wore some comfortable clothes and a baseball hat.  But the hats are not made for someone with out hair.  They are a little rough inside and to get it small enough to stay on my teeny tiny head then it is a little tight..  And it is hot, and I am not used to wearing hats on my bald head, so when I am driving or sitting at my desk, no hat.  And then I walked out of my office to go down to see Bob and I was about half way there when I realized everyone was averting their eyes away from me.  I had forgotten to put my hat back on.  Well, too bad too sad, I had escaped and i was not going to run back and get my hat.  Of course my friends don't avert their eyes.  It did take them a few minutes to get used to me and my little bald head, but within a few minutes, each of my friends was acting like I was being perfectly normal.  And for me, I am.  I thought I would be much more vain then this, but I am not.  I mean I can't even see my hair, so what difference does it make to me?!?!?  

And then my friend Susie crocheted me a hat.  It is soft and will be very warm this winter, but right now it is way too hot for anything like that.  Right now, I am quite happy not wearing anything on my head.  I am getting used to this bald woman.  I am not saying that I will be comfortable in all situations, but just normal life right now, i am very comfortable being bald.  

And I got to talk to Susan, my friend from CT.  She is an amazing woman who is a tenured professor at the University of Hartford.  I am very proud of her.  And she has 2 of the greatest kids you could ever want to meet.  Annie is a dancer and a Sr at college.  Jim is an artist and in high school.  I love these kids.  They always send thank you letters, and usually I think the minute after they have opened a present.  it is a joy to do for them and be with them, because of this kind of politeness and joy.  OK, I wish my biological nieces and nephews new what thank you notes are. But their parents didn't teach them I guess.  That is one of the biggest causes of miscommunication and problems in my family.  No thank you notes.  And I am bad about sending them out also.  I am pretty good about calling or emailing, but not really great at thank yous.  But at least people know I received the gift and appreciate it, where when we have sent things to great niece/nephew  No one ever hears from their parents so you don't know if they got it.  It is not about thanking someone.  it is about simply acknowledging that someone loves you enough to think of you.  Annie and Jim are great about that.  And every time I am around them they act like they want to be with me.  A hug like a thank you note.  And they are just great kids.  And that is mostly what Susan and I talked about.  What great kids and adults they are becoming.  Very special.  And always wonderful to talk to Susan, we laugh a lot!

So not much else is new, life is good at this moment, and tomorrow Judy will pick me up to go to Mary's and then on to chemo.  It is hard to believe that this is only number 2 treatment.  


  1. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and sending good thoughts your way....xo

  2. You are mighty cute with that bald head of yours. I love the way you've shrugged off the vanity in a way that 99.9% of women would not be able to.
    I bet that Annie and Jim adore you. And why wouldn't they? My kids do. And my grandson.
    We shall have our little chemo-gathering tomorrow and all will be well. I'll see you in the morning. Sleep well, dear friend.

  3. Yes, hats on the inside seem to be rough. I have a sensitive scalp and the nicest hats I have found are old vintage ones with a velvet or ribbon type area on the inside. I think the crochet hat was so thoughtful of your friend....
    Shall send many good thoughts your way Kathleen...a hug as well...because we all need hugs.
    Thank you kids grown x3 and son at home, well I did teach them but they are not consistent at doing them. Not sure why....lazy?

  4. I have to say that I am glad to have good hair. So far no baldness which seems to occur with lots of men. If I were to lose my hair, it would be okay though. It is what it is. I think that you are brave and centered well to be happy with who you are. So many women worry that their looks are what makes others love them. It's what is inside that matters.