Sittin On A Porch

Sittin On A Porch
Our little back porch

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Another Day

I have made it to Wednesday.  Went to work this morning, even though I was too sick last night for dinner.  Just another challenge.  My mind was working much better this morning and I was able to complete some reciprocal licenses that have been stumping my brain for 10 days now.  It feels good to clear that project off my desk.  I was also able to submit my EPA Plan, which is just the same as last year, so really a no brainer, but it has taken me all month so far to figure that out.  So check, check.  I wish I felt stronger.  My legs are still weak feeling and my arms feel numb from my elbows down to my hands.  I lurch around the office for the first couple of hours but then after that I seem to do just fine.  Yes, I will call the doctor to see if there is any thing that I can do about this.  They mention these symptoms as common side effects for this chemo, so I don't want to complain too quickly.

Other then that, nothing new to speak of.  I did get to talk to Vivian today and she sent me 2 lovely pictures of her beautiful twin daughters.  They are such joys.  And it was a day of joy.  My friend Michelle at work came over and spent some time chatting.  I notice people talk to me a lot more now that I am wearing a bandanna instead of letting my bald head hang out there.  She is another one of those sweet ladies that helps to keep you up when things might be a bit challenging.  And then Jessica, a very nice lady who is pregnant with her second child right now and she is just beautiful, aren't pregnant woman just beautiful?!!  Anyway she came up and said that things just don't seem right when I am not at the office, they are always happy to see when I am able to come in.  I think it is hard for people to accept someone who is as healthy and strong and who ate healthy and moderate exercise, could get the little "c".  I think it is reassuring when I come in.  Like Michelle said to me, if you can get it, any of us can.  I had never thought of that when I told people about my own little "c".  I guess it is like when someone your age dies, it is a reminder of your mortality.  Cancer must be similar.  I think just about everyone knows at least one person with cancer.  After all as I have said before, half of all men will develop cancer and one third of all woman, and we still harbor so many fears about this disease.  And yes, if I can get it, anyone can, and for those who don't have it, it is pretty scary.  But it doesn't have to be that bad, really, don't worry, it is not like most cancers you can eat or drink something and not get it, trust me on this.  I know that some behaviors can cause the "C" but there was nothing that I could have done to have prevented what I have.  And they would not have found it any sooner if I was better going to the doctor.  Sometimes everything just works out the way it is going to work out.  I understand the science of what I have and why I have it, but the bottom line, is everything followed every other event and here I am, I have the little "c", and I am thankful for the gift.  An unexpected gift, that has brought me closer to so many beloved ones in my life.  That has shown the soft underbelly of humans, and you know what, it is good and sweet and kind down here.  

Tomorrow hopefully I will be stronger, and another day, another day.


  1. Ah, it was so good to talk to you. I miss our porch visits. Maybe after Papa is gone.
    Oh, Kathleen, you continue to inspire me and make me laugh and be glad that I am here.
    Mostly, though, I am glad you're here.

  2. Nice that you see this as a gift. That is an awesome thing. And I believe will greatly help you as you move forward.