Have I ever mentioned before, I really don't like cold weather?
We have taken bike rides. Just riding up to Georgia, or just the back roads. We have been running errands, and on the go, but this weekend, we stayed home. I simply was exhausted and needed to be home and working on Christmas presents. I just finished a shawl, an afghan and a scarf. I have started another scarf, working on another afghan and have 2 scarves going again. I am also wrapping all of my Christmas presents in pillow cases. Susan and family were some of the very first recipients, and reasons for me sewing bags instead of decorating with paper. I wanted to give the kids presents in reusable bags. Susan has kept them over the years, and now they almost exclusively use my bags for presents within the family. The previous bags were holiday oriented with pretty ribbons and could be used over and over, but this year, I wanted to make pillow cases this year. Why? I don't know
Ever since I found out I had cancer I wanted to make pillow cases. So finally, all the material I have been collected is being cut and sewn and pillow cases are being made. I have made about 40 so far, but have been giving them away as presents already, but I am working on a large batch that expands from sweet sleep lullaby to vivid dream cases. It is simple, and most of it very easy and flexible. Just the end is important on how careful you are. I am about at that point with about 40 more cases. One size, fits most presents. They can be the presents. Maybe a mini loaf of banana bread and a pair of pillow cases. I would love a present like that. I realize that the colors might not match my friends colors, but I still think they will enjoy looking at the colors and patterns, feeling the combed cottons and smile while they think about a sweet nap in the sunshine, or falling asleep under star light with these hand made pillow cases. A simple thing in life, but if right, it can will give you a restful nights sleep and a sweeter next day.
they make me happy
and I am enjoying making them
I made one case today that was tie dyed blues with a border of black with bright colored insects on it. The brightness of the blue tie dye and the insects went together perfect. It is like cooking with my eyes. It is like stained glass, but soft and flexible unlike glass that is rigid and hard. I have met several stained glass artists that have turned to fabric art and make some of the most fun, beautiful and bright colored quilts I have ever seen. Their eye for color with the glass reflects through their choice of materials for the quilts and I am in awe. I just stick to my pillow cases. I piece the border to the body of the case. Certainly easier than hand sewing lots of pieces. Not as beautiful, but the best my brain is capable at this time.
I have scaled way back on what I would normally would try and accomplish for Christmas. Decorations consist of a poinsettia, a few lights and a wreath, that I am hanging inside instead of outside so that we can enjoy the evergreen smells in the house. I will decorate the two wreaths I bought tomorrow and hang them up on the hooks my sweet honey bought at the store today. I had a list of things I needed, but really didn't want to go to town, so Bug did and I sewed and talked to my precious Judy. I don't talk a lot to people any more, but I still love to have a real talk with my precious friends, so call me. No, really call me.
The leaves are changing and patches of yellow, orange, red and gold hidden back off the road with the green of pines and oaks dark and deep seem to hang on. We have taken several motorcycle rides lately. We finish something and hop on the bike and head out for a few hours. We live in such a perfect location for motorcycle riding. Quiet, almost empty roads, 2 and 4 lanes, paved slipping in and out of small town bordering along the Florida, Georgia line. The air is cool and most against my cheeks as we ride through the place that has stolen our hearts. Roads now familiar as we search for new adventures and possible homes.
We are open to where will we be living in the next year. My garden is on hold as we determine where it will be. We are happy, busy, getting ready for Christmas. We hope that Mother Nature will welcome us up north to be with the grand kids. We are driving, it would be nice to have some nice weather to get there and get back. We are watching and hoping. This would be my first ever Christmas with my grand kids. I have grand kids. I can't tell you how happy that makes me feel. Okay, I took the easy route and married a man who already had kids. But they are my grand kids. And I am thrilled. I have bought Godiva Santa's and Reindeer pops along with wind up toys for Christmas Eve or Christmas morning table. I love a Christmas table covered with chocolates and toys and presents and ribbons.
This is the first Christmas in my life that is different. This is the first Christmas with out either of my parents. I will not be helping Dad with his Christmas list. I will not be cooking the prime rib roast for Christmas dinner. I don't eat prime rib. I will not miss cooking it. I will not make the nut bread for Christmas breakfast for my brothers. But I still might make it for me. maybe. I will not wake up in my bed room and walk out to the front of the house and kiss my Dad good morning and merry Christmas. I will not open a stocking that he filled, and I will not watch him open his stocking that I filled with his tradition and favorites. I really do not mind giving up these long traditions. I look forward to starting new traditions. Or maybe, just lowering expectations and really cut traditions to a minimum. Traditions are wonderful, but memories of new and old traditions are both wonderful. And to get to spend this Christmas, this Christmas of change with my grand kids, oh joy!!! I can not think of a better way to have a change in my life. To try something different. To celebrate the moment instead of trying to relive the past. My life is filled with happy memories and funny, crazy stories of past Christmas.
Stories from being the daughter and sister of fire fighters and EMS. Stories involving DIY. Do It Yourself. This involves glue guns, stained glass, hot ovens and pans, glue, glue guns, scissors, in other words, lots of dangers for a gravity impaired klutz. Happy memories of hot chocolate, Christmas plays, stockings, Santa, reading the bible story on the family couch, trees, wreaths and sparkling lights twinkling and reflecting in the ornaments. Memories of my Dad standing in the living room, his light bar blinding us as we would run into the living room in our pj's. Blindly running in the general direction of the tree. My mother, also blinded in the lights, yelling support as we ran directly into the hot lights necessary to use an 8mm film. Well, at least that was my Dad's perspective. Christmas Eve rides to look at luminaries, lights and decorations. I love the holidays. And yes, I love presents, but I love making as many as possible, or giving presents that hopefully are useful, but are mostly just reminders how much I love someone.
I listened to Christmas music while I sewed pillow cases today. It made me happy.
It was a lovely day
I am happy
Yes, I did have a lot of pain today
I have been very physical lately
I am having anxiety attacks
but it is the holidays
and I am anxious about getting everything
that I want to do
but in between the anxiety
riding behind my honey
wrapping my arms around him
leaning into him
the world flying by
life is so good