Sittin On A Porch

Sittin On A Porch
Our little back porch

Friday, September 6, 2013

getting back to life at home

I am not rushing.  I am just taking it easy as I try to slip back into life.  I am a morning person.  I am not a night person.  Things seem to fall into place and I seem to be waking up about the same time each morning, between 6am and 8am.  Around 7am seems to be a natural time.  It is nice to get back to the familiar.  To get my feet back under me after two weeks in a fairy world.  Well, I did wear myself completely down to the bone, so leaving a place that the highs were in the 70s to return to the peak of rain forest weather, mid to upper 90s and humidity so thick it looks like fog in the distance. I am actually taking the time to recover.  My body hurt in places I don't want to think about.  We walked until blisters covered our feet, and on our second day we put bandaids on the blisters and changed shoes and headed out to see all there was to see.  I still want to go to sleep around 9pm, that is just my time and I also find that if I read for a half hour or so before I go to sleep, I have a much easier me falling asleep.  Trying to go to sleep right after watching TV does take me longer to get to sleep.  I have read about it, but I can say from personal experience that computer or TV screens does seem to affect my ability to shut down.  See, I am normal in something.

We rode the bike up to the Huddle House for breakfast and then went for a wonderful long ride.  We visited some favorite antique stores in Madison and made it home before the rain.  We could use a little more rain actually, but on the garden, not on our motorcycle ride.  It was nice to get out and ride. I have started digging my potatoes and no surprise, not a huge harvest yet.  I have dug about 1/4 of potatoes and have about a dozen or so and quite as pound.  I was late by 3 months in getting them in the ground and have been asked more then one person if the potatoes would even grow.  Yes, they grew like gangbusters, really beautiful plants, but just not enough time to produce much of a harvest.  The vines died probably the week we had no rain and the power was off so no irrigation.  I am happy so far with whatever harvest I get. 

I am getting anxious again about my back garden.  I called the Landscape designer that I have paid for a plan.  I have not heard from him since.  He said he was busy and it would be a few weeks, but this has been months, and I have called again and left messages and still have not heard back.  I think I have been lost, but I wrote a check, so I will be happy to get things back on track or, they can reimburse me the money.  I just may not be a garden they want to deal with.  I just know I want to get geared back up and get this garden from paper to reality  I would like to have it done for my birthday next month.  Maybe.  I am becoming obsessed again about the dreams of this garden space.

I did not loose weight over my three weeks away from home.  Most people gain weight on vacation, not me.  But I came back and have even put a couple pounds on top of what I had managed to hold on to.  This is all good news.  I am eating healthy and getting plenty of rest and have projects I can work on around the house depending on my energy level.  I am ready.  Well, as ready as I can be.  I am whined out about my hair and treatments.  Apparently it really bothered people that I was having a tough time dealing with the hair loss.  I was still cracking jokes, but I was putting any anxieties into focusing on hair loss.  It is what it is.  I will loose my hair, maybe just a little, maybe a lot, only time will tell.  But there is no question about the fact that I am going to try treatments again.  It is my decision, and even though after the last treatment I had no plans of doing this again, each time I have to make a decision it will be based on previous experience as well as what is happening in the moment.  Right now I feel strong and healthy, so I am ready.  I had wanted to get with a few friends who have been through so much with me, and are big parts to me still being here.  I didn't want anything from them, but a little of their time.  A little of their love and joy and laughter is what I was hoping to share. But I have already asked so much of them from the past, I do not want to impose on them now. 

As I travelled through England and Scotland I had the eyes of someone seeing things for the last time.  I met people that most I will never see again and I hoped that they would see Vicki and I as two alive happy crazy American woman who still see life through rainbow glasses.  We have both been through some very difficult challenges, but I hope that people saw two woman who have lived happy lives and hope that everyone we meet can say the same thing.  No regrets,  a happy life and it is Friday.  I have the entire weekend to enjoy.  I have Monday.  Then Tuesday I will go to see Dr. May and hear whether or not we will start treatments the next day.  After that we will just have to see day by day.  Hmmm, that sounds like normal life.  Yes, this is just going to be my new normal. 

I am ready and happy to see what is around the next corner.  I know that there are a lot of challenges coming my way. I understand that changes are occurring and that options will become harder .  Okay, I am not giving up.  There is nothing to give up on.  I will just keep trying to be the best I can be.  I am not being my best all the time, but each day, I will just have to try again. 
go.................  here we go again

1 comment:

  1. well done you for having such a good time away and then coming home to more love and hugs from your darling.. your journey makes me feel quite humble and question why I felt blue when you have so much more to worry about and you are really being strong and coping.. Happy 6th month anniversary to you both and many more of them too!! janzi