Sittin On A Porch

Sittin On A Porch
Our little back porch

Thursday, March 8, 2012

sweet beautiful life here in Monticello

Orange blossoms.  That is what downtown Monticello smells like.  There is an orange tree on the south east side of the court house and when I walked from the Opera House to the Rosemary Tree the sweet scent of orange blossoms floated around me and caused a euphoric feeling of love for this small little community.  A little downtown nestled in the pan handle, anchored around the courthouse.  A replica of Jefferson's Monticello.  I love this small rural community.  I love the scent of my childhood, orange blossoms.  This was yesterday, Wednesday. 

I worked in the office until three.  It was a good day, I accomplished a few things, and I learned a couple of new things.  I left at three and drove over to Lake Park to see OB.  He has been down with a cold and described himself as a bear locked in a cage.  I went over to free the bear.  To take a walk around the little pond.  To walk out on the boardwalk that becomes a dock and stretches out gently into the edge of the pond.  To look out across the pond and see the birds, the water lilies that will bloom in a few months.  White jewels dotting the lake like giant popcorn floating on the thick green leaves.  Yesterday the color was spring green.  The wild grapes, the trees and other vines, all budding out with the once a year color.  The new green glistening in the blue air of spring.  It was a lovely walk, but it seemed to be a lot for OB with his cold.  He looked calmer and refreshed from the sweet spring air, but also sort of clammy from the exertion.  He said he thought it was breaking, I hope so.  This weekend he is supposed to head over to Daytona for bike week.

My way home was directed by the bossy museum docent voice emanating from my GPS.  The full moon shined down on me lighting the roads, filling my heart with its simple beauty.  Bella Luna.  Big and round, glowing in the clear spring night sky.  Watching over my shoulder as I drove the growing familiar road back home.

What a wonderful week it has been.  The weather has simply been glorious.  Cloudless crystal clear skies lit by the same blue light that colors the sky.  A calm fresh light that shines through the spring green leaves as they burst out of the gray and brown winter branches and vines.  Sunday was spent in the dark of the theater rehearsing for The Fantastick's.  We are getting close  I have to figure out how I can remember what I am supposed to do.  I have no lines, so I don't have to memorize anything like that.  But I do have to figure out how to memorize my actions based on other people's lines.  Lines they may not give exactly like it is written, so I miss the cue and it is so frustrating.  I am not frustrated with them.  I am frustrated over how to learn how to memorize action with no lines. 

After rehearsal we had auditions for the murder mystery.  I had rehearsals Monday so Judy did the second day of auditions.  I had put down my choices for parts for those who had come in, Judy went over them and the ones that came on Monday and made her suggestions for the cast.  I loved all of her choices, so she sent out an email.  We will have our first read through on Thursday night.  I will have rehearsal for The Fantastick's.  It will be fine.  Judy will be able to handle everything just fine.

Monday was glorious.  Simply glorious.  I washed laundry and hung it out on the line.  I planted bulbs and annuals in my flower garden.  I fixed my back door.  Several people have fixed it, sort of.  They tried, but the only way to close the door was to slam it.  Grown ups don't like to slam doors.  So they would pull it shut and it would bounce back open.  Finally after me calling out to "SLAM IT!" they would become frustrated and slam the door.  It would close.  But meanwhile all of our nerves would be on edge from all the banging.  But Sunday the piece of metal that holds the door shut flew off and now there was nothing to close the door.  I told OB and he said he would fix it for me.  But I said, why can't I fix it myself.  I headed out to the barn, found 2 screws that looked like mates of the one that was left, broken off in the piece of metal.  I grabbed my drill and a bit to use on the screws and I fixed the door.  It took about 5 minutes.  Five minutes.  That was all.  I felt so much more powerful in that five minutes then I have for a while.  I also drove the Malibu over to the Lamont Post Office and picked up my top hat.  A lovely top hat.  A top hat way too big, but I will make it work. 

The new crazy meds are really working well.  Very well.  I have not felt crazy in more then a week.  Maybe two.  I can now do things around the house.  I do not feel overwhelmed.  I do not feel anxiety freezing me in place.  I just feel sane.  That simple.  sane.  I am also gaining weight, well, until I have a couple days of stomach issues, but even with that, I just eat again the next day.  I am drinking more water.  I am feeling sane.  I am happy.

Tuesday I put the top down on the toy and drove to Tallahassee to the Magic and Costume store.  I picked up the flash fiber and ignitor.  It is so cool.   I love being able to conjure fire with a flick of my finger.

After I left the magic store I drove over to Wally world to get supplies for the girl's camping trip.  I am doing tie dye and making a batch of soap for the girl's camping trip.  I bought t-shirts and dye, and buckets to dip the t-shirts in.  I bought sharpies to try a new type of tie dye.  I bought food for this weekend and for when Dad and Rob, JongAe and Jessica come up for spring break. 

After picking up all my treasures I got back in the toy and with a giant silly grin on my face drove east out of Leon County back into Jefferson county.  Back to my home.  Back to my little world of animals and plants, plays, books and beloved ones.  The air warmed by the sun and the asphalt whipped around me in the car.  A perfect day to drive with the top down.  Off to rehearsal, then home to talk to my dad and to lay my head down to rest and sleep.

This morning, Thursday, I woke up with sunlight streaming into my window.  Bob was laying on my right, his head on my stomach.  Ednarose lay on my left, quietly whining.  She wakes up each morning whining.  Whining for attention, whining for breakfast, whining because she loves to hear herself, I think.  I got up and fed the animals.  Took my shower and dressed.  No metal or jewelry was to be worn according to the instructions.  I put on button up drawstrings pants and a cotton sweater, no metal under wire, no zippers, and removed my jewelry.  I got the dog cookies, grabbed a book and headed out into the air scented with sweet tea olive.  The light clear and blue, the sky endless.  I got the chickens and the dogs into the pasture, then put the top down on the toy and drove to the oncology center.  They got me in pretty quick, but there was a problem with my port.  They had me turn my head to the right, then the left, lift it up, lower my chin.  I felt like a child again when we had to do such contortions to get a clear picture on our black and white antenna TVs.  We tried and tried, but all they got where dribbles and bubbles.  I asked if I had gone dry.  They smiled patiently and said they did not think so.  I said good.  So last chance was to try and flush it again.  After that they would have to remove the needle they had just plunged into my chest and instead stick a vein in my arm.  That would get their sample, but not help with the issue with the port. 

The second flushing worked just fine.  Just fine.  The blood pumped out into the tubes, thick, rich and deep ruby red.  Healthy, happy blood.  I drove over to the hospital and found my way back to the radiology department where I checked in and then they took me back to the dark room.  They filled out trees of paperwork and then lead me to a recliner quiet and cold in the dark.  They covered me up with a warm blanket and then injected the radionuclide.  Then left me to incubate in the quiet and dark.  They were down one scanner and had an unusual number of trauma victims coming in through the ER, so they were having to fit everyone in to the one machine.  I just sat in the dark, my eyes closed and waited.  Hours ticked by and finally they came in and rushed me into the room.  Empty your bladder, flush twice, wash your hands carefully.  radiation.  They could tell I had been here before.  I had the ropes down.  I was patient, I did not need to change into a gown, I did not freak out.  I laid on the table and raised my arms over my head and the ride began.  In and out, whirring and swirling noises filled the space around me.  Not loud, more like a whale song.  After all the waiting this seemed to go quickly.  They swept me up, handed me my belongings and shepherded me out the back door as another person was loaded into the machine. 

I went to the cafeteria.  I have never been there.  The food was too salty, but very inexpensive and I had collards and a baked sweet potato and some baked chicken.  Healthy food for the first food of the day.  I already was starting to get a headache, and still do not feel quite right.  Nothing big or important, just normal for going that long without eating and having radionuclide's injected into your blood stream.  I stopped at the Dollar Tree and Wally world for things needed for The Fantastick's.  I jumped in the toy, top down and drove through the glorious spring day back across the Florida/Georgia line driving south home to rest before rehearsals tonight.  Yes, rehearsals, two of them.  One for The Fantastick's, the other the first read through for The Murder Mystery. 

Now it is time to head up to rehearsal.
Spring, beautiful spring is here
Next week?
Looks like more glorious weather.
It is bike week in Daytona.
It always rains during bike week.
This year could be different
we will see.
Meanwhile, I have beloved ones coming to visit me
I have fun things planned.
I have rehearsals
I have azaleas and a tiny Bradford pear blooming and filling my yard with color and movements.
I have bird feeders up and even added a feeder with mealy worms for Azure and Cobalt Martin.
Yes, my bluebird martins are back.
Lots to do,
fun to have
maybe a trip to the Florida History Museum
maybe a trip to the beach
maybe just joy and laughter

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