Monday Morning

Monday morning and I have taken Christopher to space camp. I told him as we were driving there that I planned on making a scene when I left him. He said ok. He is very calm this 10 year old holder of my heart. So we checked in and then walked back to the classroom where they hold all the kids who have to be dropped off early. Camp starts at 9, and for those of us who have to be at work earlier, I can drop him off at 8 and be at my office before 8:30. And I plan on making up the work by leaving early each day. Yep, I am quite the employee! Get there @ 8:30 leave @ 3:10 to go for radiation treatment. But at least I show up!! That is the best I got these days. I show up.
 So anyway when it was time for me to leave Christopher was standing in the early room with two other pale children who looked much younger then him. So I started acting like I was crying and telling Christopher how much I was going to miss him and that I loved him and I just went on and on and. Finally Christopher who is standing there with a smirk on his face gives me the thumb to take a hike and I throw him a few more kisses and start to leave. One of the counselors started to say something to me, when I told here that I had told him that I was going to make a scene for him. She was a little taken back, but I told her that I wanted him to know how much I loved him so I was going to cause a scene that way he could look at any friends he might make at camp and tell them that his aunt is crazy. He was a good sport about it, and the counselor just shook her head. I promised to cause a scene everyday, but to make sure that I don’t really embarrass him. So hopefully he is making friends as we speak and will learn about the stars and space and have a fun time. I do hope so. He is braver then I am. I would hate going to a camp where I didn’t know anyone. But he just walked in and seemed quite comfortable about the whole thing. He is a very mature 10 year old in so many ways.

Yesterday Christopher and I went to see Despicable Me. It was cute and we enjoyed it. It had a happy ending so I of course cried. I am a crier anyway, but with these meds I cry at nothing these days. He was so cute. “Are you crying Aunt Kathleen?” “Yes, or course I am, that was sweet.” “Yes, it was, and it is ok to cry.” Yep, that is my nephews and my relationship. I hope that I will also get to spend some time this next year with his older brother. Nathaniel and I were close when he was young, but now he is a teenager and a great kid and very polite. I am not used to that, but I think we could still get along ok. That is if I can ever get over the "yes mam stuff.” Don’t get me wrong I appreciate polite people. But it just seems like as soon as he says "yes, mam." That is the end of the conversation. But I am so lucky to have both of these young men in my life. And I do hope we get to stay friends even when they grow up. After all I grew up with Auntie Mame, and who doesn’t want to be her?

But the most amazing thing still, is Bob and Christopher. Bob is falling more in love with his boy everyday. When Tom and Pat brought the boys by on Sunday, Bob started to bark until he saw his boy. Then Christopher sat on the love seat and Bob jumped right up and sat down next/on to his boy. Christopher just wrapped his arm around Bob and they looked so cute there together. Christopher is a little nervous around dogs, but I have to say he is dong great with Bob who is nervous around people. They play ball together and at night Bob spends the whole time running back and forth between the two of us checking to make sure that we are ok. He puts his nose right up to each of our noses, which of course wakes us up and then he licks you in the face and then runs off to check on the other one. All night long. As much as I am enjoying having my nephew with me, this has been so good for Bob.

And we now have 5 peeps. The last couple are struggling and we have lost a little one each day, but these 2 newest ones seems to be hanging in there. The first 3 peeps to hatch are running around on the ground with Zora and look very strong and healthy. David Smith (Christopher named one of the littlest peeps after 2 different actors playing the part of Dr. No) is now the name we have given to 3 separate peeps, hopefully this one will make it. I keep suggesting that we name one of the older ones, but no, Christopher falls in love with the littlest weakest peep each time. I can relate. The only problem is in this heat trying to get water for the little newly hatched is difficult. And life is pretty brutal on the farm, but Christopher is handling it like a trooper. I am kind of holding off naming the 3 older peeps. I have no idea who may be a rooster or a hen. And I will not be keeping any roosters, so I am really hoping for hens. Zora is being such a good mama, and Bea is doing her best to hatch and get the last of the peeps up and out. Maybe tonight Christopher and I can look at each of the 3 older peeps and come up with good names for them.

And the rabbits are jumping and running and having a good old rabbit time. They run in and out of the coop like it is normal. And there are little ones slipping into holes left and right. And when I look at my nephew and see that he just thinks this is so normal and life is magical, well it is hard not to appreciate being a little crazy.

And I am making pillow cases. Saturday after I dropped the boys off at Patricia’s cousin’s house I was sort of lost by myself. So I thought I should do something. Maybe something for myself. What to do? Shopping? Hmmmm, Joanne Fabrics! So off I head. It was about 9:30 on a Saturday morning so the roads were empty and when I got to Joanne’s there were hardly any customers. Perfect. So I wandered through the store trying to think of something I could make. But what? I have lots of beads and I am working on a bead project for Geeta, but as simple as that seems it really is something that with my brain these days is struggling with. So I bought material and when I came home I cut out 20 pillow cases. All different colors with coordinating bands. They make me smile as I make them, and then when I am in bed sick, I will have all of these lovely pillow cases to lie back on. Simple straight line sewing, and once I figured out the first one, which took much longer then it should have, but I am working with half a brain here, the rest hae gone much quicker. The first one si navy blue with white old fashioned looking map designs with ships from the 1400’s on it and the border is a white on white pattern of swirls. Well, it just made me smile. It took like 20 minutes to make the first one, 15 for the second one, and now I have a pair of pillow cases and I feel like I was able to accomplish something. Tonight I hope to make the pink hibiscus ones with the pink/green striped border.

So all in all everything is going along fine. I feel like I am coming down with something. Like I am just a little off. I fall asleep at a drop of the hat, which is so not me, and my throat has the beginning of a scratchiness. You know when you have something in your throat and you want to clear it so you make that ahemhmmm noise? Well that is what my lungs feel like. Like I need to clear them. And the pain is back. I didn’t realize how much pain would be involved. And it is not horrible pain by any stretch of the imagination. But it is pain up around my collar bones, across my back down most of the front of my chest cavity. But again, it is not bad pain. But did I have this much pain before? I think I remember pain. My linear memory has never been the best and all bad things tend to be put away and forgotten as soon as possible, so I can’t really remember how much pain I have been in before.

All in all I am happy right now. I have my nephew here and Bob has a real boy to play with. Mary is back in town. People seemed to have misunderstood my blog about presents and thought that I was serious in that I have been getting a lot of presents. I was kidding, but I do love the presents. Today was a bag full of Godiva chocolate from my friend Bob. What a perfect present!!!! And as we all know chocolate has iron and other good things in it for us, and Bob did get me mostly dark chocolate, my favorite and it made me smile so big when I came in and found it on my desk. Thank you Bob!!!! And yes, I am a little tired, but not too bad. And yes there is pain, but again, not too bad, and after all I do have cancer so I guess I should try to appreciate the whole experience. And tomorrow Mary and Judy and I will meet with Dr. B and I assume he will be giving us the chemo schedule, and then we will move into the next step of this journey.

And I am fine. I am able to come to work and maybe even get something accomplished, and I can spend time with all my kids and my nephew and we laugh and watch Phineas and Ferb, my new favorite TV show. And all the medical people are so nice to me, and my friends are all so great and I feel so loved and like the most fortunate person in the world to have something like this to test to see how strong my body really is, and to have so much support while I do it. Really how great is life? And after my treatment today I will pick up Christopher and then we will go by to see Ms Moon and then home for international night! We are making tacos. So far we have celebrated Italian by eating lots of pizza and American with corn dogs and popcorn, and now Mexican! Viva La International!!! So that is my lunch break and I will get this posted and then back to work on this fine Monday full of promises of new adventures this week and more radiation treatments and soon they will take away the pain and eventually I will get well and find many other things to write about. It is a lovely day and Vicki will be here in 15 days, just 2 weeks. And I have Christopher for the rest of this week and then part of next week I will have him and his brother and his parents. And soon I will figure out a way to get my Dad up here. I need to get Daddy here as soon as I find out how I will handle the chemo. He needs to see me and know that I am ok. After all I am his baby girl. And I want him here so he can see that I am fine. Cancer, smancer. Like I have been saying, it is the little c, and yes it is causing me to have to do things I never imagined I would have to deal with. But I am seriously appreciative of the opportunity to see how strong my body is. I know I can do this. I just hope that I can do it without too much whining and crying and acting like a little girl. It is time to cowgirl up cupcake!!!! And I think I am ready for it.