Baby magic and the magical swish and swallow

Four radiation treatments left! Yes, I can do this; I have already made it through nine, so just four left. And really the radiation treatment itself is nothing. I lay there. Sometimes they start with the chest which means they put a machine an inch from my chest, right on top of my ‘peaceful heart tattoo” and for about 30 seconds blindingly bright lights flip on and off and then a buzzing tells me that I am being shot at. Other days they start with the vertebrates which mean that they put the mask on right away. It is tight and confining leaving the quilted marks on my face, but in some weird way it feels safe and comfortable in a way your favorite shirt that you have outgrown still gives a little and is so soft and loved. Don’t get me wrong the mask is not soft, but it is snug as another layer of skin and it is my friend. It holds my head in the perfect place so that they can shoot my throat in the front and then in the back and hit that nasty little tiny cancer trying to eat at my bones, my vertebrates, the endoskeleton that helps me to hold my head up. But ha ha!! I think the radiation is working because I am in less pain. Yippee!!! However, other symptoms have sort of become more important, like swallowing. Oh my, that does not feel comfortable at all, which in turns slows me down drinking anything, including water. And food? Oh, no thank you. I was able to get some Greek yogurt down this morning, but that took about an hour. And I am sucking on cough drops like there is no tomorrow. However, that requires swallowing, and the cough drops do help some, but not enough. So Dr. Newman gave me a script for a magic swish and swallow. I will pick that up at lunch and maybe by this evening I will be able to swallow, maybe even be able to drink a boost that Ms Denise brought me. Chocolate flavored of course. I never thought I would say this, but I am looking forward to that Boost this evening. I will pour it in a chilled red wine goblet. Maybe go out on my little front porch and lounge back seductively on my rattan couch, light a few candles and remember all the amazing places I have had the opportunity to eat and the amazing food I have enjoyed. Eating is not just about swallowing, but about all the senses and I shall pick some white butterfly ginger flowers and smell their exotic aroma and let my mind take me on travels to wonderful places. I think my first stop will be Botine’s in Madrid. It has been owned and run by the same family for like 600 years. Mother took me there when she and I went to Spain and then Dad and I took my older brother and his wife and then the next trip we took Marie there for such amazing dishes like garlic soup. I can almost smell it, taste it, oops, not a good idea because I started to drool, and that is a lot of spit to swallow. Sorry, for the graphic details, but that is my reality.



And when I woke up this morning my poor tattoo, the peaceful heart one, is red and looks like the beginning of a good sunburn. It had bumps on it that looked like they might burst and start oozing. So I thought of how my mother and father always used baby magic when we would get too much sun at the beach. And lo and behold less then an hour after very gently rubbing it on my radiation spots the redness was less, the bumps gone and no pain. And I smell like a babies behind. Come on, how great is that. I showed Dr. Newman and she was amazed and said that she would recommend it to other patients. I do hope it works as well for them. I envision the entire cancer radiology section smelling like baby bottoms. That would make me smile.


Now I am at work, and everyone is pretty much leaving me alone because I can not talk. The phone calls are limited because it frustrates people to call someone they can barely hear. Sorry. And the funniest part is when I talk to people they automatically start whispering to me. Isn’t that funny? Well, no because now I can’t hear them anymore then they can hear me. But it is sweet that it is a human reaction to talk quieter when someone looses their voice. Much better then when people talk to someone who doesn’t speak their language so they talk louder. Dad and I were in a cab driving to Holroyd in Edinburgh and I didn’t realize it, but I was yelling. Dad had not put in his hearing aids that morning so I had to raise my voice significantly for him to understand me. The cabbie, gave me a nasty look and then said in his best Scottish brogue, “I speak English, you do not need to shout!” I started laughing and he gave me another nasty look, then I explained in a normal tone about Dad and his hearing aids. About that time Dad asked what we were talking about. I smiled sweetly and the cabbie gave me a grin, and all was well.


So I will head over to pick up my magical swish and swallow and hopefully tonight I can enjoy that gourmet meal of Boost. And some more baby magic and I will be good to go. After all, only four more treatments left, then we get to really have fun!!!! Oh yes, chemo, a new and different experience.


Meanwhile, the 3 little peeps have names, River, Song and Amy. And for you Dr. Who fans, I believe you will recognize the names. And little David Smith is growing bigger and getting feathers on his wings and let me tell you there is nothing wrong with that little peeps ability to eat. And my brother Tom, his wife Pat and their two great kids, Nathaniel and Christopher are up in Georgia staying on a lake and hopefully fishing and having lots of fun. I have their dog Candy, and she and the other dogs are getting along just fine. She and Bob are still working out who Mom loves best, but all in all they seem to be doing just fine. So I will try and get some more work done and then go home and maybe get a little more work done there and then I will sleep. I read somewhere that sleeping is an environmentally friendly activity in that you do not use as much man made energy when you are sleeping. Isn’t that good to know? And I am tired these days. And sleep feels wonderful. Still lots of things that make me happy, and hey, less talking isn’t so bad either.