Feeling fine

Two radiation treatments, eleven to go.   Dr. Newman had first said 17 treatments, but when I was there for the first treatment, she said that they were going to do 13 and then see how I respond to determine if I will need anymore.  That makes me feel comfortable.  I like how review and feedback is scheduled into all the treatments.  And so far, it has been a walk in the park.  They gave me a schedule of when I should starting experiencing the side affects.  Judy told me not to listen to them.  Good thing, because I had not.  I do listen when they talk about the side effects but when they start coming up with timetables, I don’t go for that. I don’t plan on getting all the side effects, but I like to know what they are so if something happens I will know whether or not it is really happening or if I am loosing my mind.  So far I think that the radiation is making me tired.  Yesterday morning I was sitting on the couch with my nephew and I feel fast asleep.  I never ever do that.  But I slept and it felt good.  I don’t really feel more tired then normal.  But I do feel different.  I can’t put my finger on it, but something is different.   I don’t have a soar throat, but my throat feels different.  The pain is managed bu not completely gone, which is OK, keep it all in perspective.  The pain is back to being around my entire rib cage.  And part of the pain not being so bad because it is similar to pain I have had off and on over the last 4 months. 

Emotionally I feel kind of like I’m in a cloud.  Like I am a little slower, a little sadder, a little more mellow, a little more grateful, life feels a little sweeter.  My friends a little more dearer.   It is a nice feeling.  It is like it is starting, finally.  The treatments have begun.  It is real.  It is happening.  And that is fine.  I am ready.

Yesterday Christopher went with me to the radiation treatment.  The Therapist showed him the room and the machines and how everything works.  He got to see my mask and then I had my second treatment and it was done.  When I got dressed and Christopher looked at me, he said I looked like an alien.  The mask is so tight that it leaves my face quilted with red lines covering my entire face.  Christopher thought it was “Sweeeeeet”.  Then we went over to the Challenger Learning Center so he could see where he will be in camp next week.  Then we went up to the 22^nd floor of the Capitol so he could see a 360 degree view of Tallahassee, and then down to the Old Capital and took the tour through it.  We both enjoyed it a lot.   Ice cream at Bruster’s and we were off to Lake City to pick up Nathaniel.  After we got Nathaniel we picked up a pizza from Pizza Hut and came home ate and we were all in bed early.  My house was full of my boys.   Two nephews, both handsome, sweet great kids.  And I was so happy to have them there.  Now they are at the wedding and I have a quiet evening alone, and life is good.  Yes, life is very good and I am feeling fine.  Really, just fine, and ready, ready for each day whatever may come.