Plans, drugs and my mask

So I have tried for the last couple of days to take pain meds and no steroids.  The pain meds help for sure, but not enough, so tonight I went back to the steroid.  I have so much to learn in the pain management thing.  But at least when I am taking both the steroids and the pain meds together I am jittery but pain free.  Without the steroids I am drowsy.  And today a new symptom.  High.  Yep, the toromodal makes me loopy, and sleepy.   So I sat at my desk working away, struggling to understand the simplest of questions and be of assistance, and then I would feel like I had dozed off.  Just for a second, literally, but I am sitting upright, hands on the keyboard, head tilted to my chest and I think maybe asleep.  Then someone would come in or call and I would giggle.  Just giggle and coo and act like I am totally stoned or drunk.  And there is still pain, but I didn't care. I mean I really didn't care.  So all in all, not a bad way to go.


And then I went for my CTsim and they ran me through the machines and painted and marked my chest where they will shoot the radiation on my rib.  And then they made my mask.  They have you close your eyes and they tell you that they are going to lay the material over your face and it will feel warm and wet (and by the way slimy).  So they lay this gelatin mesh on to my face and then gently mold the mask to my face and head.  Then as it hardens up, they bolt the mask to the table and there you are in this sort of Silence of the Lambs full face mask bolted to the table so that you can not move when they go to shoot the C7 vertebrate.  After they had gotten all the information they needed, they unlatched my head from the table and let me sit up and they showed me the mask.  It is so cool.  It is a mesh that looks like 3/4 of my head.  And when they finish the radiation I get to take my mask home.  Bonus!!!  I just have to say, very cool.  So, next Thursday I go back in at 10:45 and they will start the radiation treatment.  17 treatments in all.  And that will help with the bone cancer and will help with the pain.  


And then when I got home Dr. Broeseker's office called and I will go in on August 6 for them to discuss the protocol with me.  I think he wants to start the chemo the week after that.  So I finally feel like things are moving forward.  And I am ready.


So, silly, dopey, drowsy day, filled with beginnings and now the day is almost done.  I am going to go lay down.  Not much at all today.  Thank goodness.  And again, I realize how each thing that has happened along this journey had worked so well for me.  I never had to get hit with all the information all at once.  Instead this process has evolved and next week I will start the radiation and then the  chemo and I will be on my way to the doctors taking care of this cancer.  And yes, I am having a hard time putting together letters let alone words, so just a short entry today.  And that is OK.  It was a good day, giggles, accomplishments and now to bed.