Sittin On A Porch

Sittin On A Porch
Our little back porch

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

My last visit with the amazing and wonderful Dr. M

There is something just not right about loosing your oncologist.  This is the person who has given you the WMDs, who has given you the antidotes to the WMDs.  Who watches over you and tries to figure out how to outsmart your cancer.  He is not supposed to move away.  But alas my dear sweet precious wonderful and amazing Dr. McCuttie Pie will be on his way to Emory Medical the end of June.  His beautiful little daughter's birthday is June 29, the same as the beloved Mr. Moon.  But today was not about birthdays, it was about my last visit with the amazing and wonderful Dr. M.

We went to Costco yesterday and I bought a cake that you can cut into individual pieces, each with its own pink, blue or purple rose bud on it.  I also bought 2 bottles of Korbel champagne, packed napkins, a knife to cut the cake, paper happy cups for the champagne and tubes of bubbles for the doctor, nurses and the rest of the support staff. 

Ms Moon and I left this afternoon and travelled up to the oncology department.  It was wonderful!!  I had her all to myself for more then 45 minutes.  Time to just spend talking and laughing with Ms Moon, yes it is as delightful and fun as it sounds.  We sat around the waiting room trying hard not to be drawn into a conversation with a woman who was a patient there, but was sitting in the waiting room selling "snake necklaces".  Now we all know that I am not a fashionista, so it should be no surprise that I had never heard of these things.  From the look on Ms Moon's face, I do not believe she had ever seen them before either.  The woman demonstrated the necklaces and bent them this way and that, twisted them and combined them with other necklaces.  Nurses came in one by one and purchased their bracelets or put in orders for specific colors.  There appeared to be gold ones and shiny silver ones, red, green, blue and some with multi colored ones like black and white.  There I sat without a necklace on, although I did have on my $2 flea market ring and my flea market cubic zirconia earrings.  An $80 value the woman hawking them proudly proclaimed. Although the price tag was significantly lower.  hee hee, they are huge and do not look any more real then someone like me wearing 2+carat total diamond earrings.  hee hee

Anyway, it always takes a long time to get into see the doctor when Ms Moon or Ms Judy go with me, and today was no exception.  But Ms Moon and I just talked and laughed and watched the people come and go.  Most people did manage to stop by to say hello when they saw our cake. 

Ashley came out and called for me.  I had told her I was bringing cake and champagne, but she had not taken me seriously, so was a little taken aback when there we were with a cooler bag and huge cake box.  She weighed me, I had lost 2 pounds.  I was surprised, but whatever, I am not going to stress myself over a pound or two anymore.  I will eat healthy and just do the best I can.  I asked Ashley not to point it out to Dr. M.  She looked a little anxious at me.  I said, "I brought cake, I will eat a piece"   She said okay, she would write it down, but not point it out and if he noticed that was him, not her.  I said, "Thanks"

The three of us moved down to the examining room and laid out our party.  Ashley took me through the questions, I kept smiling and saying I was good.  She opened up and talked to Ms Moon and I a little bit.  She is a very special woman our Nurse Ashley.  I love her to death.  I hope she knows that outside of the office she will always be my friend, and if she ever wants to come down and hang out with me and my crazy friends here there is a guest room waiting.  And the kids are welcome.  We have dogs, cats and chickens, not to mention a golf cart and lots of crayons and paper.  I am prepared from children.

Ashley left and it was a few minutes before she and Dr. M came back in.  She had obviously prepared Dr. M for the party.  It had never meant to be a surprise.  I told them last week when I came to give my blood, I told them at the last appointment.  Doesn't everyone take cake and champagne to their last visit with the doctor that saved their life???? 
They should.

So Dr. M came in and played doctor asking me the routine questions, concerned over my cough, a little worried over me in general I thought.  He emphasized the importance of me taking my tarceva

We ate the cake, we popped a bottle of champagne and we giggled and took pictures and hugged and smiled big smiles with eyes bright with tears.  Our little family of Dr. M, Bobbie, Ashley, me, Ms Moon and Ms Judy was breaking up.  It was the end of something special.  I am sure that Dr. May will be very nice.  And I will still have Bobbie as my nurse, but Ashley will be elsewhere, Dr. M will be in Atlanta and all of us, our lives will keep going.  But all we have to do to remember all the silliness and even the scary times, is to stop and be quiet, because each of those people, Dr. M, Bobbie, Ashley, Ms Moon and Ms Judy are just the most special and precious dear ones anyone could ever hope for.

In the last 5 years I have met the most amazing people.  People who have been exactly the people I needed to have in my life.  Each of the people in my life today, both near and far, family and friends. Some I have known for 50 years or 35 or 25 or even less years are here right now and their love and support and humor, not to mention the crazy meds have given me the most amazing life.  I am surrounded by love and joy, friendship and support of every kind you could ever imagine, and the center of that whole system, the amazing Dr. M is leaving.  And I will miss him fiercely, not just as my doctor, but as someone I admire greatly.  I am thankful that I will have Ms Bobbie to help me adjust to the new doctor.  I know that I will find a way to get to see Ms Ashley.  And the same with Ms Moon and Ms Judy.  Our lives are all so filled with other things these days.  Ms Moon has her kids and her two perfect little grandsons.  Ms Judy is involved in her community working on the roads and the fire department and her life is so busy with all the rain we have been having. 

My life is so different today then 2 years ago.  I am happy.  Really truly, completely happy.  The meds are helping me keep things in perspective and life is not static.  It is a changing swirling dance of actions and reactions. 

I choose not to throw another petulant tantrum over his leaving.  No, instead I hugged Dr. M hard and whispered in his ear, "thank you for saving my life, I wish you much happiness and success for you and your family."  He squeezed a little harder then let go and we smiled into each other's faces.  I looked over and Ms Moon was taking pictures of Bobbie and Ashley blowing bubbles.  The world seemed just fine.

Ashley, Me, Dr. M and Bobbie

My amazing and wonderful Dr. McCuttie Pie, love you Dr. M

Ms Bobbie and Ms Ashley, love you ladies!!
The amazing and wonderful Dr. M is pretty perfect when it comes to doctors, but my primary physician is a pretty great guy also.  Sunday, a squirrel bit my finger.  He bit and hung on so tight that he cracked my thumb nail and left a pretty ugly puncture wound on the fleshy part of my thumb.  Edna and Henry were playing with the squirrel.  I thought he was dead and took him away from them so they would not rip it into little pieces and then bring them to me, piece by piece, preferably while I am asleep in bed.  So I picked up the poor dead thing and well, they obviously cross train because he was playing opossum, and chose at that moment to come alive and bite my finger.  Yep, a squirrel bite.  Dr. D and I had some good laughs over it during my visit with him yesterday.  He had asked me if I had had a tetanus shot in the last 5 years.  He has been my doctor since I moved here a little more then 5 years ago, and sure enough, I had had a shot in 2007.  So I did not have to have another.  We again looked up the CDC website and just as OB and I had read on Sunday, I probably had a better shot at winning the lottery then getting rabies from that squirrel.  So he ordered some antibiotics to make sure I did not get an infection and as he was filling out the paperwork and we were joking and laughing, I said, "Oh, I have stage 4 lung cancer."  He stopped and looked at me.  I felt terrible, we had been laughing just minutes before.  I gave him the very short and quick version, told him who I was seeing, he had me fill out the papers so he could get all of my records, we laughed so more and then I left.

So it has been a trying week when it comes to having to go see doctors. 
But I survived the squirrel attack. 
I survived my last official visit with Dr. M. 
Ms Moon was there, that helped me more then she will ever know. 
OB and I have seemed to have gotten over the stomach flu. 
Harry is still hanging in there. 
Bob and Edna are both trying very hard to be good dogs. 
 Marina has blessed us with her scabby little self this week
 and we have had rain every day. 
Thunder storms that have rattled the windows and doors. 
Lightening cracking over our homes,
life giving water drumming the nearly saturated soil. 
My gardens have not looked this good in 3 years. 
I am happier then I have ever been in my whole life.
My Dad turns 87 tomorrow
happy birthday Daddy
My older brother turns 61 tomorrow
happy birthday Rob
Daddy, OB and I will be in Spain a week tomorrow
I hugged Dr. M and told him that I would stay in touch
he gave me his email
I hugged Ashley and Bobbie
Ms Moon was there, supporting, smiling, sharing this place and time with me
I came home and OB was working away in the barn
Bob, Edna and Harry were all sleeping
My gardens are growing
I have a new doctor to get to know
my cancer is trying to come back
my life is so wonderful
that I am happy and ready for whatever, whenever, just bring life on
and then bring death on
and Dr. M, best wishes
and Bobbie and Ashley, love you two, and I will see you next month!!!


  1. All so amazing. Who could have known?
    Love you, baby. It was a beautiful afternoon.

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  3. You are such a caring person. But
    so right...something just not right
    about losing your oncologist...been
    through so much together. My hubby
    would really find this tough!

  4. How well you write, it was so kind of you sharing the moments saying goodbye to your lovely Doctor.. I am sure you will get the same kindness from the next one in his place.. I will hope that for you.. I find you easy to read and very inspiring, I'm not sure I would be so brave with what you are having to contend with.. All the best in the world, and I will be back to read the next part of your adventurous life!!