Sittin On A Porch

Sittin On A Porch
Our little back porch

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Another chemo

I feel so productive this year.  Maybe that is the difference of trying to multi task versus focusing on each moment at a time.  Maybe I am doing less.  I don't think so.  Maybe I got an early start with Dad.  Now that is possible.

Sunday night I felt good.  I had made a big dent in the Christmas cards and sewn the first half of gift bags.  They are so simple in design, straight lines, mostly gold, red, orange, forest green and peach organza and then some lovely golden silky material.  I use brighter ribbons with music or sparkle and shine.  They are so simple, but when slipped lovingly in a box with tissue and boxes of hot cocoa nestled in between, a Christmas card laid on top with silk poinsettia flowers.  

Monday morning I woke anxious, nauseous and not quite myself.  Judy picked me up, and it was cold, but not as cold as it would be when we finally got out of the Infusion Center.  We were the last ones to leave, literally the last 3 people, our nurse, Judy and I.  And it was a long, long day.  We had arrived at 8:45 am, got our water and coffee and went to wait for my name to be called. Over an hour later I was called for the blood work.  The waiting room for the lab was filled with more people then I have ever seen before.  Monday is always a busy day, but this was people standing and sitting everywhere.  But they took me straight  back and I got the new girl.  She fits in well, is nice and quite competent.  The nurses were talking that they had finally hired the third blood letter, but there was a mistake in scheduling and instead of adding one more person to the schedule, they added three so they were triple booking.  The nurses did not seem to find this explanation funny in anyway.  They were booking, and in the weeds, but they still tried to be nice to each of us and not make us feel rushed.

It was about an hour and I was called back to the infusion room.  They only allow you to bring one person with you, so Mary had Owen, and Judy got me.  Poor Judy.  We sat in the fusion room and waited and waited.  We did not waste our time, we yarned, and the time passed.  Finally they came over and explained that some construction at the hospital had cut into the tube line and so none of the blood samples were making it to the hospital and they did not know where they were, so they were going to take my blood again and they had a driver who was taking the samples to the lab at the hospital.  

Another hour, the samples were back, now they needed to find the doctor to order the chemicals  and get them from the hospital's pharmacy.  More time slipped by but by a little time after 3 they had started the premeds, and we were out by 6:00 pm. 

It was so cold, so through to the bone shivering cold, and you could feel the temperature dropping as you walked across the parking lot.  We drove to Judy's to pick up her stuff, she graciously offered to stay with my dogs and cats at my house because I was so nervous about the cold and leaving them in the hospital with no one there.  We finally got to Mary's a little after 7.

I was beat and made a bee line to the couch in the Glen den.  I could hear Mary and Judy talking and laughing in the kitchen, but I simply did not have what it took to get up and join them.  Instead I dozed.  Mary slipped in quietly and set the table for our delicious dinner of home made pizza.  Now Mary makes an amazing pizza, much better then you can get at any take out or delivery place, but this pizza was remarkably wonderful.  And I ate two pieces!  Wohoo!!!  And then I went to bed.  I hardly even had a conversation with Mary.  I don't think I made it through one of my favorite movies, the Princess Bride more then a half hour.  I went straight to the panther room and feel into a deep sleep.  Exhaustion, chemicals, healing rest, sweet nurturing from my dear dear friends.  Sleep of a baby.

And I woke around 7:30 and snuggled with Dolly.  She always sleeps with me when I stay at the Moon's.  She is my special little bed buddy.  Mary came by to check on me at 8 and closed the door.  I got up and dressed and she made me tea and steel cut oatmeal and we talked and laughed.  Then Judy came to get me to take me home so we could run errands today.  My first obligation was to finish packaging the boxes I had started on Sunday.  

Judy was not able to head to town, but I filled my car with packages to ship, 2/3 of my Christmas cards, my toys for the service groups, and a few local cards and presents to deliver.  I ran those errands and still felt fine, so I stopped by the Dollar stores.  Monticello may not have a single red, yellow, green traffic lights in the county, or as I understand any Deer crossing signs, but we have a Fred's and 2 different dollar type stores.  Yep, we know what is important in this county, and it isn't traffic lights.  So I am finally finished with all my shopping.  I may still go with friends out and enjoy the lights and music and chaos, but no pressure.  Oh, and the family present I ordered has been shipped.  I am really excited about this present, I hope they like it.  

meds.  No pain so no need for that type of meds, but keeping on top of the anti-nausea meds is extremely important.  And resting the day after chemo makes for a more productive Wednesday.  I plan on going to work tomorrow.  

So chemo treatment with Dr. M is down, not so bad.  So 1 or 2 more and then we will check and hopefully find that it is helping.  Please let be helping.  I see where people are willing to go anywhere and do anything to try and get rid of this disease.  I am comfortable with my choices.  I could fight harder, but that would not be me.  I need more then anything at this time in my life to be true to my own nature, to try and live in the moment, alive, aware, but passive versus violence.  I want to be engaged but I want to only leave whispers of hope on this beautiful blue green planet of ours.

It is another miserable cold day.  Have I mentioned before how much I really really detest the cold.  And it is predicted to be back down to 20 again tonight.  I mean I live in Florida!  And as I understand it, it is cold all the way down the state.  But I am snuggled in warm in my little place, the Christmas lights are twinkling on my tree, I have bravely placed candy canes on the top half of the tree in hopes that the dogs will not discover them too soon.  I have some hot cocoa on the menu tonight before bed which will be early.  I am working on Christmas cards, but with all that I have accomplished today, I am not in a rush to get them done tonight, tomorrow will be soon enough.  I am a little worn out from my errands today, so I am sitting back watching the Princess Bride again, one of the great stories with something for everyone.  Ah, a little respite and relaxation, a few meds, a little sleep and tomorrow is another day.    


  1. You are twenty times more productive than I am. You put me to shame.
    You amaze me, now more than ever.
    But I know you love it and that's why I love you.
    Among other reasons.

  2. It sounds as if you had an ordeal. I can imagine how tired I would be after all of that. Yet, you still have the spirit and the love of Christmas. That is why you are special.

  3. Those little gift sacks sound lovely. You're amazing to be able to focus and plan and get so much done.

    Your chemo treatment experience sounds like something from a TV at 8:30, wait here and here and here and get poked twice and wait more...I'm glad the day ended at Ms. Moon's.