Gray and Rainy day

I think if you said hello to anyone in the greater Tallahassee area, the first thing they would say to you would be, "What a gray and rainy day we are having."  It is this giant fog of wet, cold, close, miserable, reflected light, no direct light, dank and dreary, winter gray day.  And I was bone weary when I woke this morning, and the cold crept under the door, across the floor and up into my bed and settled in deep down inside me.  But I got up and did my routine and headed off to work.  After all I am only working 2 days this week.  I only need to work 4 hours.  Just do the best I can for as long as I can.  But it didn't work out like that.


There was just so much that needed to be dealt with.  For the most part everything keeps getting done as best as the rest of the staff can do.  But it has been 9 months that my staff has been working under these conditions.  So I just started answering phone messages, returning email, process reciprocals, took phone calls, proposed changes of procedures, reviewed financial paperwork that I will have to finish figuring out tomorrow.  I pulled up and sent off applicator lists to field staff and I prioritized the work for tomorrow.  And shortly after 1:30 I said, stop.  If you continue to push yourself when you are tired you can get sick, you can cause delays with treatments, stop.  go home.  And so I did.


and I am tired.  


My problem is deciding should I push myself a bit to keep up my stamina, or am I only wearing myself out.


I don't know.  But as tired as I was, my mind was clear and I got a lot accomplished which felt great.  


Vicki made it home, but they are getting hit hard now with the winter storm.  


I think maybe I will take a book to bed and fall asleep.  I finished the Maeve Binchy book I was reading.  She is an Irish writer I enjoy.  


Several of you have asked me to let them help me to clean my house, or do laundry or dishes.  Something to help.  I appreciate that more then you know.  And I do plan on asking for help.  But when I need it.  Right now I need to do as much as I can.  It is a mental thing of not giving up.  It is important to me to try and keep as normal a life as I can, meaning, feeling like I can take care of myself.  That is so important.  So please be happy for me that even though I say I am tired, I am still able to take care of myself.  I will need help, and I will ask.  I will.


It is still gray and drizzling outside.  It is warm inside.