I had another meltdown feeling sorry for myself.  I need to go to bed for a few days but like a hardheaded spoiled child I will not.  No, I will not lay down and rest.  There is too much to do.  Today I went over with Bug to the house in the morning.  I did some cleaning in the kitchen, under Bug's supervision.  I sewed the curtains for the bedroom and finished my chair for my vanity desk.  I think it came out great.  it is not what I had imagined, but maybe if I gave in to my creativity instead of using my brain.

I still spend a lot of time with my poultry, my flock.  George is actually going outside with Willie and Lily.  It is so funny to watch the ducks preen George.  He doesn't seem to enjoy it, but tolerates it.  These two ducks, closer to his size then anyone but John C, are the only friends he has.  They were once all baby peeps together in the tub.  They are the three that survived the attack.  They are family in the purest sense of the word.  They have chose to stay together as a flock and love each other.  How can you not want to sit and just be with this loving group of young creatures.  The older flock tolerates them and picks on George, but when the baby peeps come out I think we will have a change of pecking. 

I love sitting and watching and listening and feeling George walk.  He is huge, just now starting to be strong enough to stand up and walk.  When he does walk he sort of walks like Frankenstein's monster.  Each foot is lifted with great difficulty and then he bangs each foot down.  Seriously you can hear his feet as they thud down each step.  If you watch him you swear you can fill him like Godzilla or some other giant movie monster as he shakes the earth.  He is not pleasant and has gone from the gentle giant I could stroke and coo to biting rooster.  I can not tell how he will be as a rooster.  Mo who was spoiled and a terrible rooster when he was hatched and lived here is not a very successful rooster for my friend Spat.  Mo has protected his flock, he calls his hens for food before he eats and he is gentle with humans.  I would not give George as high a chance of success, but he is still very young and we will just have to wait and see what happens. 

My peeps are anxious to be out of the pen.  Maybe by this weekend I will fence off part of one of the coops so that the peeps can run free.  I can not keep them clean enough in the pen.  But it would be much easier to rake out the hay without the pen.  I just have to make sure that Peony, Perriwinkle and Pansy can not escape through the chicken wire.  They might get out and not know how to get back in and they would not survive outside without their flock.  When they were running around the coop today while I was cleaning out their pen they were jumping up in the air and chest bumping.  I have no idea how many of these chickens are roosters.  I know Gerranium is a boy, Gardenia is a girl.  I am not sure about the banties.  And maybe half of the production reds could be roosters.  Time will tell.  They sure were hopping and a jumping and having a great time.  Big or small, it doesn't seem to matter.  Some of them have become groups of friends, but they all get along as a family.

I am happy and enjoyed spending the day at the Casa.  It is starting to sink in that it is my home.  I love my home.  We have so much work, even after we move in, but we knew that going in.  I am just not as strong as I was 6 months ago.  Shoot, I am not as strong as I was 3 months ago.  Who knows?  Next week I might be full of energy.  It just seems that the energy is not quite as much or as often.  The rest needs to be listened to more vehemently. 

I feel like I should try and explain where I am, but I don't know.  I feel like I should have wise words, I don't have any.  I am just living each day.  Making enchiladas, working side by side with my honey, sewing curtains, resting in between.  Yes, I accomplished several projects and I am happy about that, but I wonder if I rested more, would I have more good days?  I guess I will have to give it a try.  Maybe I can do that this weekend when I have dear precious friends coming down to be with me.  I feel nurtured and loved and pampered just knowing those who are coming, and those who can not be here, but know they are loved and still hoping that I might hug each of you yet. 

I am sorry that I am not able to give you more information.  I know that maybe half a dozen, maybe a dozen times a day I feel faint and like I have to hold on.  You know the feeling, like your sugar drops or your blood pressure drops.  That woozy, spinny out of control feeling.  It is probably one or the other, but it is a bit unnerving to feel that way so many times in a day.  I can hear my cousin Lori telling me to rest.  Okay.

It is Wednesday now and I have a PETscan.  It is not until 11am, so that is a long time with no food, but oh well.  That is all I have planned, sort of.  I do have to go to the Opera House and get the tickets for Saturday.  It is a fun play and we are going to have a hoot.  No eating this morning, so I might as well go and get ready to go.  I would rather sit in the waiting room where there is no food then in this house where there is plenty of water to drink, plenty of food to enjoy.  I will later.  Last night I made chicken enchiladas and they tease at me from the frig right this minute. 

I have let the older flock out including the ducks.  George decided to spend this time in front of the feeder.  I have no choice but to separate out a space for this new growing flock in one of the coops.  I have it set to go, I just need to do it. 

Off for the day.  Still here, mostly, and as tired and weary as I get, I am not ready to give up and lay down yet. 
Our house is coming along
My sisters and dear precious friends will be here soon.
Yay!!!