2 Little piggies

As I drove to work this morning, I watch the sides of the roads for animals.  Mostly turkey, deer and dogs.  Those are the most common animals I see as I drive back and forth from my little trailer in the woods to the big city.  This morning was two glossy black hogs.  Beautiful animals standing on the side of the road, apparently rooting around for a breakfast delight.  They were on the south side of Hwy 27.  I live at the intersection of I-10 and Hwy 19, but if I drive into my office on I-10 it takes almost an hour, but if I drive south on Hwy 19 to Capps and make a right onto the beautiful 4 lane Hwy 27 it takes me about 30 minutes.  And I have lots of these opportunities to see wildlife.  I think I saw turkey every day in August in this one stretch of 27 as I came home each day.  When Christopher was here, we would watch for them together and then check the time to see when we had seen them.  And then the deer.  There are lots of deer on 27 when I am driving home at night.  I had a deer run into me last November on the Waukeenah Hwy and do a number on my car.  The funniest memory I have of it is as the deer was flying in front the windshield, thankfully he did not hit the windshield, anyway, the first thought that ran across my mind, was "I've killed Santa” The fact that I saw one deer flying closely in front of my car after a loud noise, not 8 reindeer and there was no sleigh or a jolly red elf, didn't seem to speak as loudly to me as that first thought.  I pulled off the road and I know I was in shock because I wanted to just think about what would happen if I had really hurt Santa, and well, even I realized that was not how someone should be thinking at that moment.  There was front end damage to the car, but the amazing Car Guy, Mr. Moon came to my rescue just liked we had always planned and he helped me to get a rental car and to know what all was wrong with my car, and what they needed to fix when we came to check on it. And well, just all the things a really smart, sweet, good looking guy needs to know to help with a car with a deer imprint on it.  Well, just a note here, actually the plan was when I hit a deer if I was OK, I was to call Mr. Moon and tell him where I was and he would come and pick up the deer and help me with the car and any assistance I would need.  The most important part was picking up the deer.  It is bad enough to take a life, even when there is nothing you can do about it, but to have the meat go to waste, there is no excuse for that.  But it was a Monday, and Mr. Moon goes to auction.  But I called Mary and told her I was fine but that I had hit a deer.  She got a hold of Mr. Moon and bless his little heart he called and of course, when he got back he was such a help.  Fortunately, that if Mr. Moon couldn't be here that the person behind me when the deer came out of the woods and into my car, her husband is a hunter, so he came and took care of the deer for me.  So now as much as I love to see the deer in my neighborhood and along the side of the roads, I don't trust them, and I try to drive with that always in mind.  They can just leap out of nowhere and surprise everyone involved.  

And there is a gray fox that lives in my neighborhood.  That is good for the rabbit problem.  That is not good for letting the chickens out of their coop.  But it is a beautiful fox.  Huge as foxes I have seen go, and black as a night with no stars.  

It made me smile today as I drove in to see those two shiny black pigs.  It made me think of that irritating car commercial about the piggy that goes wee wee wee all the way home.  The first time I saw it I laughed out loud.  OK, now I relate much closer to the woman driving the car with that look of pig murder in her eyes.

And I worked half a day but then came home, well, I was a little tired.  Pushing it right now as I am living with the bone splint pain, is not a good idea.  By 6:00pm, I am aching to capacity, as is it.  No need to make that any worse.  Plus today was the final appointment with the Lawyer.  

So I went up to the Lawyers office and we did the will thing.  Then I told him about the doctor's diagnosis and that I thought I needed to get a power of attorney.  He agreed.  So Mr. Moon is my first choice for the Power of Attorney.  The lawyer recommended that the person live near by.  Of course, Mary or Judy would be my first choice.  But that is too much to ask of them.  By choosing Mr. Moon, I know that he will talk to Judy and Mary and it will be the support for them if they have to make one of these life choices.  So Surprise!  Mr. Moon!!!  And bottom line.  If I can get around my trailer, eat food, and watch garden/cooking TV Shows, then keep me going.  When I can not eat food, get around my trailer and enjoy a good gardening show, then pull the plug.  If it is a question about quadriplegic (remember the C6 and C7 vertebrates are involved here) then pull the plug and roll me on my face after a bottle of champagne and things could resolve themselves.  My older brother is my second Power of Attorney if Glen can not or chooses once Rob gets here not to take on this arduous duty.   The lawyer also told me how to handle my property and my finances, accounts, including debts and the easiest thing I can do to assist them after I am gone.  Because the bottom line is, my life does not add up to a division of stuff.  It is my life, and any money that I was able to hang on to after my Ex husband lost his mind.  And money that and things that I have worked to maintain, to grow and to improve upon, and I hate to sound like a murder mystery, but why in heavens name would I want everything sold off and then a set amount of money be divided equally between my biological nieces and nephews.  I mean, some of them will not send me a birthday card even this year, some have children of their own and don't send me emails with pictures or updates or even act as if I exist.  Then I have my three youngest niece and nephews who ask to call Aunt Kathleen, who love to come and visit me.  I have my 2 non-biological niece and nephew who stay in contact and always send me thank you cards and their Mother gets me updates on them, and granted I am lucky I got to spend more time with them because of my work, but they also have always made me feel like they wanted to be a part of my life.  So most everything will go to my brother.  He will divide somethings up that mean things to certain people, and the rest, well, that will be up to him.  Maybe he will keep it, maybe he will share it.  All that matters is that there is a thought process behind it.  Not just a selling off of a life.  Not just closing accounts.  Not just selling a piece of property that holds my heart like the land holds my gardens.  I don't want to have a headstone or a monument or anything vain like that.  Cremation and then spread my ashes around the oak trees and gardens on my property.  But as the fate of this place, that I love so dearly is decided I want the land and animals to be considered.  I would like that possibly the last thoughts about me are of happy memories and appreciation of the land that I picked out as my home.  A place I have felt magic since the first time I stepped on the little front porch.  The place where I still hope someday to be sittin on the porch with Vicki and Mary surrounded by more people then I can name here, all of us cackling and laughing, looking around at our old wrinkled faces, faces that have laughed and cried, held back tears or laughter at other times to show someone how much we love them.  Faces that have stories written on them.  Glasses filled with the nectar of their own god, warming through veins, tickling giggles from their lips.  Tears of joy, snorts of happiness.  Yep, I still hope to do that.  But if I don't get to, I hope that before this place passes out of my family, that they sit on the porch, maybe a little more sedately, but they don't have to be sedate, they can have as much fun as they want, because no matter where I am, I know that my energy will be at peace, I don't have any idea of what peace there will be like, but I hope it is fun.