Good morning

Good Morning
Isn't it funny that I have no problems about blogging about problems with side effects from the chemo
I don't have a problem about talking about my sweet and precious, generous and wonderful friends
but when it comes to talking about someone special
I am afraid to say something
I don't want to offend anyone
I don't want to jinx the relationship
oh yes,
it is a relationship
and I am crazy about him
He is kind
and generous
funny
intelligent
tough
gentle
handsome
strong
funny
smart
silly
and wonderful in more ways then I can begin to tell you
But I can't seem to call him my boyfriend
Partner sounds more like what we share
Because our lives together are about
mutual support
caring
laughing
helping each other
although he helps me way more then I could ever help him
He went with me to Spain and did things that it would be hard to ask of someone you have been married to for many decades.
We have only known each other for six months or so.
We were just friends for the longest time
although he is so handsome and sweet and good to me, that I admit to wishing he could care for me, long before I ever knew for sure
yes,
this is mostly why I have not been blogging
most everything I have done for the past several months have involved him.
and I was afraid to say too much
and I have been out living my life
rather then sitting in my red chair blogging

I miss writing in my blog
I miss keeping a journal of my days that when I am no longer able to get out and about
I will be able to read my blog and remember all the wonderful times
But there are months now with silence and holes
Days filled with laughter and joy
riding on his Harley as we roar down the black ribbons of asphalt
rock music screaming out around us leaving a trail of vibrating air
as visible to me as a snail trail on the sidewalk
only visible if you know where to look
We have been to museums and thrift stores
we love thrift store shopping
and antique stores
and Goodwills on Tuesday which is old people day
and we get 25% off
We go to Costco and graze around the store trying all the food they offer
We drive the toy
with the top down
We are both brown as berries
He buys me flowers and little presents
He cooks me dinner
and worries when I loose weight
He holds me as I crack under the stress of the changes in my father
He holds me when my meds are just too much

He stands up for me, where I am usually not willing to do so.
He opens his arms and lets me fall right into his heart

We are very different in so many ways
and so very similar in many important ways
and I am just crazy about him

We have started sharing our friends and precious beloved ones
but I know I am a little shy about meeting his friends
will they like me?
will they accept me?
I know my friends would like OB
But I am being shellfish, I want him for myself

He is gone now, visiting his son and then his daughter. 
Christopher, my 12 year old nephew and I will go to CT to visit
Susan and family
then we will drive to NJ and pick up OB

we will point the toy south and drive home,
taking our time to visit friends and places we love
and places we have yet to see
with the top down as we drive through the blue ride mountains

I am happy
I have my Christopher with me
We are getting ready to drive to CT
to visit precious beloved ones
to be with OB
to walk
and laugh
to throw my arms around him
and then cover his beautiful face with kisses

I am happy
I have found someone who is
so good to me
for me
who sees me for who I am
and still cares for me
who has seen me at some of my lowest points
and still cares for me
who likes me for who I am
and I really really really like him
for who he is
sigh
my life is so full
so happy
so full of laughter
and silliness
and happiness
and love
and joy

life is so very very good
I am so very very fortunate
in every way
sigh
happy sigh
happy happy sigh

isn't this just sickening?
yeah,
I love it
hee hee I love him