Great news from the Doctor

So I went to see Dr. gorgeous today.  I had gained one pound.  That is good news.  Because this is muscle weight from the walking and exercise I have started getting.  


The doctor came in and said that he knew I would look good because my blood work was wonderful.  My cancer markers are down as low as we could have hoped for.  My liver enzyme is down almost to normal.  My blood work for my immune system are all up and strong.  Basically, I am almost normal.  
I am healthy.  
I am strong.  
I am tolerating the chemo.  My body has finally adjusted so the higher concentration of Tarceva can keep the cancer under control, and my body is not being killed by it.  


I am doing so well, there was not, "You are doing better, but......"  I am doing so well, that the doctor has okayed me to join the HOPE project.  This is the exercise program for cancer patients to help them build muscle and strength.  The doctor has been promising me that he would get me in, but has not taken any step until today.


I am flying high!  I feel so strong and healthy and happy!  The doctor said whatever I did in Spain, I should keep doing it.  I talked to Judy and she said well, don't discount the fact that I don't have the stress from work.  I am not under stress and pressure anticipating and preparing for the trip to Spain.  I agree with her.  Stress can certainly affect your immune system, and I am so much happier and have way less stress then 2 months ago.  I also ate a very healthy diet when I was in Spain.  Lots of fruits and veggies, fish, cheese, ice cream and eggs.  That was it.  I drank as much water as I could.  I  did not get more rest, but I did get more exercise.  Oh, and I was surrounded by people pouring love at me.  And of course, the ladies in Spain covered me in Saints.  The doctor said I might want to keep wearing the saints.  He smiled when he said it, but I could tell that he feels that it does not matter whether it is science or not, if I get better, that is all that matters.  


So I will continue to wear my saints, eat a healthy diet of veggies, fruit, eggs, cheese, ice cream and fish, start an exercise program and continue to live each day.  And be happy.  Enjoy life and be happy.  
And I am happy.
Very happy
I don't feel like I am dying. 
I feel like living again.  
I am living again.
And I am more like a normal person again, I have no idea when I am dying anymore then anyone else does.
But I don't think you can go back. 
I think once you see the line between life and death
you can't go back
But that means that it is not the cancer's fault that I have been so emotional and silly lately
It means it is just me doing too much and wearing myself out all by myself
So I need to slow down and appreciate life again
That I don't have to do everything
I can still do things.
But I need to be like everyone else in the world. 
Take care of myself.
Be good to myself
Be kind to myself
I am bursting with happiness
This is the first time I have talked to a doctor in almost 2 years where there was not a 
but.....
no but
in more ways then you can imagine
or would want to imagine
grateful
happy
joy
life is good!!!!!
And Christopher is here and tomorrow we are hoping to go to the Junior Museum
and maybe a movie
but we will celebrate life
life!!!