Its Spring

Yesterday I finally was able to get a handle on my grief.  I knew I would miss him, but I never thought I would feel such a depth of grief.  The process will take much more time, and there will be moments.  Good and bad.  


Today I had a bad moment.  I was in Wal-mart for a last minute baby shower gift and I walked by a Tie dye Tshirt with a peace sign on the front.  That was Larry's signature for years and years, tie dye shirts.  It caught me off guard.  It was the first time I had seen something so Larry in the real world.  I actually recovered quicker then I thought I was capable of, but I tried to be grateful for the little happy memories scattered here and there.  To take the shock, the stab of pain, the catch of your breath and move past it to the smile.  To appreciate the smile, and know it could happen anytime, anywhere.  So far it actually is helping a lot.


Yesterday after work, Judy and I took the toy to Trenton to buy chickens.  "Gone to the Birds" is the name of the place we went to.  I found them in the Florida Market Bulletin.  It was a gorgeous deep sunny spring day and the ride was lovely.


We called to tell them we were almost there, only to find out I had written down the wrong number.  But wait, there is more, that is the number I called on Tuesday to let them know I would be there to get my babies on Wednesday.  Ooops.


So that means when we got to Gone to the Birds, they didn't know we were coming.  Oh!  and they were not home.  Judy, restless after the long drive got out to check the gate and that is when she saw the business card, so we were saved and gave them a call.  They were on their way to the house, they had a gentleman following them.  He lives in Monticello.  The owners were laughing, normally people call and make an appointment (like I thought I had) and then within an hour they had 2 different customers, from Jefferson County with out appointments.  


The man from Monticello bought a lovely white duck.


Ms Nice Chicken lady walked Judy and I around the operation.  They had lots of different varieties of chickens, turkeys, duck, geese, rabbits, goats, horses and dogs.  It was a beautiful operation.  Very clean business and the animals well taken care of.  I said I wanted about 12 - 15.  I came home with 20.  I think I got at least 2 of each, Plymouth, Buff Orpinton, Brown leg horn, Barred Rock and Americana.  It should give me rainbow colored eggs, from white to every shade of brown and green.  


You can't be sad when you have baby peeps.


They are so happy and sweet and peep.


I love my baby chickens, they are helping to fill in a part of my broken heart.  And raising peeps is hard.  Right now they are in my guest bath tub.  I can keep that room warmer, and there is a lot of space for 20 chicks to hop, skip, grow and run flapping little tips of wings just barely stretching out from their little puffs of bodies.  They nestle together and sleep in one pile of fuzz in shades of ivory, yellow, golden, brown and black.  Some have marks like chipmunks and quail.  Lots of different varieties and hopefully not too many roosters.  Although I wouldn't mind a Plymouth Rooster.  They are huge, I mean huge!  and white and look like the cartoon character Foghorn Leghorn, much more then the chickens referred to as leghorns.  But I have some of both.  


Babies are a lot of work, but so worth it.  My heart aches less, there is music in the house again. Sweet gentle peep-peep-peep swelling as they all join in, then all of a sudden cut to silence.  Then the soft scratching as they go through the bowl of food..  This weekend I will have to get with Christopher to help me come up with names.


But for this moment, I am exhausted.  It was a long day yesterday and I did not get to bed until late.  So a quick nap before rehearsal tonight.  Yes, I can barely keep my eyes open.
to sleep.