It was Perfect

The day dawned with blue skies and bright sunshine reflecting off the azaleas.  The yard was lovely.  The day cool but perfect.  A little before noon clouds tumbled in and the wind picked up, but well before 2:30 when we finally made that procession through the flowers and friends and family the sun glowed through the trees.  It sparkled on bright eyes of those standing together to share their love and joy with us.

Smiles, tears, laughter and flower petals filled the air and swirled with the yellow pollen into our hair and covering our cars.  Everything was perfect.  The cake, the flowers, the people, the love, my handsome husband.  Everything was just perfect.  We were married under a cover with tulle swirling in white and gold.  The Harley's stood guard across the back.  Loved ones clustered in the trees taking photos like paparazzi.  My Dad looked liked the fine Southern father.  Bug's parents smiled and held hands supporting us from their side.  Bug's daughter along with her son, Kensington, and her honey, Ken surprised us and came for the wedding.  A friend from my past, surprised me and showed up and took lots of photos.  

It was a day of magic and surprises.  My dearest friends were there.  Linda, one of my two best friends from college asked me what shoes I was wearing for the wedding.  After determining that my white ballet slippers, the only almost appropriate pair of shoes for this day, were covered in chicken manure from when I had to rush into the coop one night late after the Opera House, were not going to cut it.  So she and Susan bought me a beautiful pair, and Linda ended up being my wedding planner and she and Susan, Lynne, Sioux and Vicki worked with Bug's Mother and Daughter and everything was perfect. 

His parents bought the bride's cake, we bought the groom's cake.  My Dad bought the flowers, and all the precious loved ones brought food and ice and drink.

It was just perfect.  I will tell you more soon, but I wanted to get something posted.  I am a very happily married woman now.  Something I could never have imagined.  I married my best friend, my pal, my buddy, my love, and we are even happier each moment we look into each other's smiles.  Monday I walked around the yard and just thought how perfect my life is.  When I moved here there were no gardens, no flowers, no camellias, no azaleas.  And now, on our wedding dance, flowers danced in the breeze with white, pink and purple.

Here are some of the happy moments:

Mom and Dad and the bride cake

A proud Papa and his grandson, Kensington

Here comes the bride and groom

A Celtic hand tying ceremony with my Vicki

Friends, Flowers and Family

A blessing with Geeta, Anvi and Janak

Family photo

The Groom's cake

My Fairy Flower Girl, Jessica and her Mom, JongAe, Dad in the background

Dad and Vicki

Vicki, Linda, Sioux, Kathleen, Susan, Lynne, my dearest precious ones

 It was perfect.  Thank you who were able to be with us.  Thank you for those who sent sweet wishes, Thank you to all who thought of us.  It was the love of our friends and families that brought us together to celebrate this sweet almost spring day.  It was friends who shared food and drink for making it so sweet.  Thank you to who shared gifts, you were too generous and we love you all so very much.

Thank you for a perfect day
thank you for a perfect wedding
thank you for a shared time with such sweet precious friends
thank you for giving me this amazing memory
of love
and joy
and sharing
and celebrating
and cherishing
and being in one of those few most perfect moments, and during that time, we all shared that moment. 
That sweet precious moment in our life
and it was perfect

Side effects

My cheeks are Rosy and bright, the steroids.  My eyes are glassy and red.  That is because I lay in bed at night and try to figure out if I am asleep or not.  Am I in a dream, or simply laying awake.  I can't tell what is real in those dark hours of night.  I get up and wander around, try to read, look at a garden magazine, pet the animals, sit in my red chair and try to relax.  Then I head back to bed, trying night to wake Bug and slip back into the warmth of the covers where I lay there again watching the light slip between the cracks into the room.  I only take 6 roids each treatment.  Two the day before, the day of and the day after treatment.  Today I feel like a zombie, exhausted, glassie eyed with lack of sleep.  I have been experiencing nausea and  that overwhelming need to sit down this time.  The last treatment didn't go so bad.  This one isn't that bad, but more then I needed right now.  Or is this exactly what I needed?  A reminder to only do what can be reasonably done.  I didn't get much done yesterday here at the house.  Bug and I did get out and run some errands.  I did buy tulle.  No crepe bells or bows or doves, but maybe a little tulle hanging from tarp cover we may use, well Okay.  I love ribbons.  Hopefully this will look a little ribbonish with the tulle floating in the sun.

The weather looked earlier like a perfect warm sunny day for our wedding, but now it looks like it might no be that warm.  Hopefully we are still looking for 70s.  I would love to wear my silk, but angora will work too.  I will just feel beautiful standing there next to my sweet man.  He thinks I am beautiful.  that is all that matters

A little bloody nose this morning, but not too bad.  I can do this.  A new chapter in my life and I want to enjoy it.  Right now, it feels like someone beat my abdomen with bamboo sticks.  Not really helping me to push past the sit downs.  This is still nothing like the treatments when I got the flu.  But this is really no fun.  Stomach issues.  but hey, better this weekend then next!

It is the wrong cold again today.  Just too cold.  The air smells fresh and crisp with a light fragrance of wood smoke.  But to enjoy that, means being outside.  No, no, that is not me today.  Looks like I will rest my body a little bit.  Write a new list and throw out the old one.  Get my head on straight for this last week.  I need to do a good company house cleaning.  I just did this a week or so ago, so it will be easier this time.  I need to locate a couple of possible locations for the ceremony and see what I can do simply and with little fuss to look it's best.  I should be able to see what the cold did to the flowers tomorrow when it is a little warmer

Right now Bug and I are watching Good Eats.  Alton Brown's cooking show.  We saw one of my two favorites, The Legend of Squid Boy.  Now he is talking about salmon.  The show opened up with Alton on a small fishing boot on Tilamook Bay.  Bug's brother Ron and Linda live up there and we got to see them last year on our trip around the country. 

Yes, I realize I am jumping on around.  That is what I am trying to relax and calm so that I can sleep.  The roids cause my brain to jump constantly.  It gives me a headache and it is hard to focus or accomplish things, and all that spinning and swirling in my head I think is why I am feeling so nauseous.  Maybe.

It is all okay, because this will pass and I will marry my best friend, and life will get back to our life together, a little quiet, a little travel, a little less hectic.  When the slow downs don't really matter.  And our friends are coming to celebrate with us.  Just that simply.  Nothing else matters.  Some good food shared by friends, together, happy, cake, I mean, really, how hard is this.  And today there is so much fresh tasty packaged food you can simply throw in the oven.  So as people start arriving we can have healthy food available, easy to cook, easy to eat and focus on seeing each other.  Renewing old friendships, introducing new friends.  So, hanging in there, still on track, maybe just choo chooing along a little slower. 

Treatment #6 and taking a little break

We took a break from the wedding and went to see my Dad.  We got to take him out to dinner at the Riverfront Cafe on Sunday evening and then Monday morning he was up bright and early so we took him up to Norma Rae's for breakfast.  He loves to go out for breakfast.  Shoot he likes being able to get out of the house, for any meal or to go shopping or whatever, just to get out of that quiet lonely house.  He had a Reuben sandwich for breakfast, chips, pickle and all.  He seemed quite happy.

I got his clothes packed for the wedding and helped him with some appointments and adding addresses into his book.  It was just nice to spend time with him.  I also got to see Rob and Tom and families.  The kids are great.  Nathaniel is so focused and working on his Eagle Scout project getting it wrapped up. He is also very active in his church, working on picking out a college, visiting his lovely girlfriend, Heidi and generally being a good guy. Christopher is wonderful as always.  He is going to raise rabbits and he is practicing his cello and riding his bike and helping to take care of his grandfather along with his older brother.  Jessica is as sweet and precious and vivacious as the perfect flower girl for a wedding.  Her ribbon dress and wings are ready.  They are purple, yellow and pink and she will carry a purple basket and be such a lovely flower fairy.  I will finish Jong Ae's ribbon dress today.  She is going to take photos for us.  She has experience taking photos.

After we left Dad's we headed across the state to Titusville to visit Bug's parent's and his Aunt Doris and Uncle Herb. Aunt Doris's birthday was Tuesday and we were going to go out to lunch together.  We left Dad's later so that I could spend another house with him, so instead of going to Titusville and finding a hotel before getting to visit the family for an hour or so.  So instead we pointed the toy north and decided to stay with Hobbie in Daytona and take her out to Caribbean Jack's for Mahi.  They have the most amazing Mahi sandwich.  Bug and I eat it every time we go to Daytona.  He likes his blackened, I like my grilled.  He gets the bacon off my sandwich, and I don't even consider eating the bun, it is too much food  with the fries or onion rings.  I would rather eat all my fish and the lettuce and tomato that goes with the sandwich.  A lovely chipolte sauce adds a nice bite of spice.  I highly recommend it.  We had such a lovely evening and morning with Hobbie.  She is so smart and fun and joyful and is just so nice to everyone.  Col. Bill is up in the cold north but will be down this coming weekend for Bike Week.  That is where Bug and I will spend our first week of our honeymoon.  We will have our regular bedroom and it will be so much fun surrounded by such happy, fun partier people.  The next week we will spend at the Suwanee Music Fest at Spirit of the Suwanee.  Because I have chosen not to stop the chemo, but instead try to keep up one every 3 - 4 weeks.  I have another Pet Scan planned for the end of March and then a treatment after that.  April will be another weird month in that we are going to Angel City for a Rally, so trying to schedule treatments will revolve around our honeymoons.  But after that most of the honey moon trips around my treatments.  Except for August, I want to ride with Bug to Sturges and Milwaukee.  It is the 110th Anniversary of Harley and we would both love to go there this year together.

Tuesday we headed down to Titusville.  We picked up the loveliest pink lilies for Aunt Doris.  Bug had already bought her a birthday card.  We met them at the house long enough to say to Uncle Herb who would not be able to go with us.  When Bug walked in he said "Hey, Bob" so he appeared to recognize Bug.  That was a pleasant surprise.  We had lunch at a Super Chinese Buffet.  Aunt Doris picked it out.  She is delightful, a real firecracker.  We barely kept up with her when we followed her to the restaurant.  She shot down the road leaving us in her dust.  They call her the Silver Bullet.   Her brother wanted to take her out for her birthday, but Aunt Doris had a coupon for a free buffet on her birthday.  She is an extremely intelligent, independent fire cracker.  He voice carries the throatiness of years of smoking, now a habit no longer used.  She speaks directly and her years as a nurse and a supervisor gives her a quirky sense of humor, but looks you straight in the eyes.  She holds a MS degree, quite an achievement for a woman her age.  Especially one who has suffered so much loss.  The death of her first husband and both of her sons.  The devastating stroke to Uncle Herbie taking the kindest man away from her.  That is how she describes him.  She told me that Bug's Mother loves me.  I said I pay her a dollar every day.  Doris did that raspy harsh laugh and told me that I was okay.

We had a wonderful time at lunch.  Aunt Doris did not eat the first bite of Chinese food.  She did eat a slice of pizza and some ham and a deviled egg.  That was about it, but she seemed quite happy and everyone else was impressed with how much she ate.  She is diminutive physically, but huge with life and personality.  I really liked her a lot.

After lunch and way more photos then Aunt Doris was happy about Bug and I drove back up to Daytona.  We had planned on driving home but there were strong storm passing here at home, and we really didn't want to drive all the way home through thunderstorms when we could spend another night with Hobbie.  Really a no brainer.  We stayed home and grilled veggies and chicken over power greens.  A big lovely healthy meal overflowing with wonderful red wine.  We laughed and talked and Bug convinced Hobbie to create wax art.  It was a wonderful wonderful night. The next morning we headed home with the weather behind us. It had been a wonderful get away getting to see Dad and Bug's parents and Aunt Doris and sweet Hobbie.  It was relaxing and no worries about the avalanche of stuff that needs to get done this week.  But we have come back relaxed and happy and closer having spent sometime together instead of working.  Sigh, it was much needed especially with treatment #6 the day after we got back.

We rested Wednesday after our travels and the next day, even though it was a bit nippy, when we climbed on to the black cherry Harley and drove north to the Oncology Center.  I guess I was a bit depressed last visit.  Well, finding out that I had to keep up the treatments and I had been so very very sick for those first four treatments, I was not convinced that I wanted to spend the rest of my life sick.  But I realize now that most of my being sick was not the cancer or the WMD, but the flu.  The flu has made me way more sick then the cancer itself.  Some of the chemo made me this sick, but that was more then a year ago.  Treatment 5 has gone much better.  No flu, better attitude and being proposed to on Valentine's Day all helped for me to walk into the center with a smile on my face and ready to start this new life with more WMDs.  Dr. May was so happy and when she walked in the room, she looked directly at me to judge my mood.  She had gone to all my nurses last treatment and they had talked to me about being more open to treatments, that it would get better.  Leslie told Dr. May not to worry that she felt sure that after I had talked to Bug I would be more willing to give the WMDs another try.  She was right, and Dr. May was so relieved.  So the end of this month another PetScan and treatments.   I also want to go see the Amazing Dr. McCutie Pie within the next month or two also.  I have asked again that he be sent my records. I just like having his eyes involved, and his heart and his sense of humor.  How lucky am I to have such amazing people all cheering for me.

We are in count down, one week from today.  I need to get some ribbons and materials to make corsages and hair wreaths and other floral decorations.  Thursday I will purchase the flowers and food.  Friday will be last minute house and yard work and family and friends coming in.  Hopefully I can get the flowers for our hair done then also.  Saturday the cakes will come and I will add the flowers to it and then have a cover dish luncheon with a wedding .......and cake...... and champagne...........and pink lemonade............and flowers.

Back into the thick of wedding plans.  Bug's parents should be back in a couple of days.  They are spending a little time with Aunt Doris while I recover from the WMDs.  I am handling things fine, but I do need a lot of sit down and quiet time.  I am tired, but I always am these first couple of days.  Partly because I do not sleep well on the steroids, and despite the promises of the nurse, the roids do not increase my appetite.  Quiet the opposite.  But all in all I am able to get up and get some things done, and that felt good.  I am resting more though.  A little rest and a little work that is the balance to be met.  Hmmmm, I guess that is a good idea for any day of the week.

Well, off to get some things taken care of, and to get my big book shelf in the living room emptied and cleaned, maybe even get the carpet vacuumed under it.  That woud be a very good idea.  It is cold.  Just wrong, wrong cold here.  My flowers in the yard are drooping under the cold, and it is supposed to get even colder tomorrow night.  I don't like the cold.  This is don't leave the house cold.  And for all of you living in the frigid north.  I realize that you are dealing with much worse temperatures, but I could not live there.  So I can whine all I want.

I don't like cold.
But I am still so happy snuggled up with my honey inside the house, staying warm.

Plans and rain

There is a lot more to planning a wedding then I had intended on actually doing.  I just thought tell everyone to come over for a cover dish and we will have a short but beautiful wedding ceremony then cake that that would be enough.  Well, the cake was way more involved then that. 

I had sat down and thought what is really important to me.  Bug.  Standing up in front of witnesses and committing my love to him.  That is the most important.  What is second most important?  My loved ones.  Whether family or friends, they are next most important to me.  Everyone has been so much with me these past few years.  Mary and Judy committed most of a year of their lives taking care of me during the first chemo.  They saw me at my worst and held my hand and kissed my forehead and gave me a place to focus on to come back. And Denise and Glen and the rest of the family was there also.  It was a community who came to me and extended their arms and took me in and got me through that first year. 

And of course my Dad and brothers and their family.  They have watched me go from the center maternal force in our family, to splitting up the duties and pulling together.  Especially Rob/Jong Ae and Tom/Pat who to this day take the bulk of the load on taking care of Dad.  Years ago I would come and take care of Mother and Daddy a lot more then I am able to now, and with their busy family lives they have stepped up and picked up what I can no longer do.

Don't get me wrong, i am still strong and healthy and capable of living a full life, but with treatments every three weeks or so, it makes it a bit harder to get to Dad's.  Plus as Dad is aging, now 87, in June 88, he is almost too much for me at times.  I love my Dad dearly, but if you are standing on the verge of sanity and you have a conversation with someone who has dementia, well, let me just say, it is not pretty.  Conversations go much better if at least one person is able to follow along with the subject.  And bless his sweet heart we gets confused and then angry and sometimes I just have to say, "Dad if we are going to fight on the phone, I am just going to call you back later."  That usually, usually, snaps him back to his old self and we can finish our conversation.  But I talk to him most days.  There are some days I just don't have enough balance.  My Dad loves me more then anyone on this planet and my little c has really devastated him. 

I think the main reason I asked everyone to join us was because of the memories.  I really don't care of lots of people around me.  I prefer the solitude of my garden, a good book or spending time with Bug.  I love to spend time with my friends, but since most of us are social hermits, so we like our alone time.  But weddings are about traditions. "Something old, something new, Something borrowed, something blue, And a silver sixpence in her shoe." and making memories.  I will always have the beautiful memory of walking into my friends and family with this wonderful, amazing man that is such an important of my life. 

It will be a sweet memory to watch my 9 year old niece, dressed as a fairy, move through the crowd sprinkling flower petals. 

To close my eyes and remember seeing my Dad and Bug's parents standing next to my Vicki, to see the brightness in Sioux's eyes, to look in the sweet, funny, silly, handsome man holding my hand.  To spin around and see the love of such precious people coming together to share in those memories.  And when I am gone, people will smile and have memories of such and happiness.  That is why I want the focus on the people and the love.  The sharing of a few precious moments together.

Bug's Mom and I went to Publix and I ordered the bride's cake.  It will be iced all in white with a simple but elegant design.  Three layers, two tiered, and in between the two tiers, then on top and surrounding the cake will be fresh flowers.  Of course, I could not just pick out one cake, I had to take several of their design and put them together.  The lovely woman at the Publix, where shopping is a pleasure, seemed nonplussed and wrote things out and then read them back to me, and it sounded perfect.  It will be large, not huge and over bearing, but it will definitely hold it's own.  What flowers will I use?  What ever looks the most beautiful on Friday.  Bug's parents are giving us the bride cake as our wedding present.  My Dad is buying the flowers as his wedding present to us. 

But you can not just have a cake, then you have to have the knife and server.  So we had to fine those.  And I ordered the groom's cake.  I love the idea of a bride and grooms cake.  It is an opportunity to have different flavors and personalities come together for one celebration.  To have the flowers and feminine side, with light cake flavors and to have a more masculine cake in chocolate and fudge gives us the best of both worlds. 

The cakes are ordered and will be picked up the morning of the wedding and I will put the flowers on then.  I will pick up the flowers on Friday and make the flower wreaths for our hair and my bouquet and hopefully we can have just little glasses of flowers all around.  Maybe all of this rain, sweet, quenching, dear, dear rain will bring out the flowers in my yard.  The hard frost bit back the early blooming azaleas.  Over night their bright coats of pinks and whites turned into brown coats hanging limply turning the yard from budding spring, back into winter.  But we are getting long days of rain, steady water lightly drumming on the porch roof lolling Bug and I to sleep on our little couch.  The cats nestled on our laps, the dogs asleep on our feet, a blanket pulled up to our chins cloaking us in one warm cocoon.  The white lights twinkling above our head as the thrumming grows louder and then softer as the clouds lumber across the sky.  I love sitting on our porch.  A real screened in porch.  Just the right size for this little family that has come together at this time in this place.

We have bought plates for the cover dish, plates for the cakes,  We have bought plastic utensils that look like fine silver, the plates look like china.  Fancy fancy.  We have the knife and server for the cake, fancy again.  We have bar napkins and dinner napkins, sorry, no wedding napkins.  We run all day.  Mom and  leave the house around 11 and remember to eat lunch around 4 and usually don't get home until after 6.  We shop and shop and mark things off our list, butter mints, check, serving platters, check.  What in the world is taking us so much time and shopping?!?!?!!!  I don't know.  It means that I don' get to see Bug for most of the day and by the time I get home I am so tired.  Shopping is not fun for me, it is OK, but mostly it just wears me to the bone.  Dealing with people, having to make decisions right then or make the trip back.  I am not great with the stress of having to make so many decisions.  It is extremely stressful.  I feel like I need to apologize constantly for being grumpy.  My crazy meds can only help me with a certain amount of stress.

But just about the time that Bug and I go, "Let's just fly to Vegas" we hear from another sweet precious one who is coming to join us, and we remember what is important and why we are doing this.  It is not about the stuff, it is about the people.

Have you noticed I don't talk much about what I want?  Well, I am the one that wants as many loved ones around me as possible.  For them and for me.  I am the one that thought decorations, music, fancy location, no, what I want is our home, our yard, with a beautiful cake and lots of flowers.  That is what makes me happy.  I keep hearing from people that this is my day, my wedding and I should focus on myself, not on others.  Well, first of all, it is not MY wedding, it is our wedding.  Bugs and mine, our families, our friends.  And what makes me the very most happiest of all?  Is seeing joy and happiness in my loved ones. 

I looked up the weather, on weddingweather.com and it predicts March to be a drier month then normal.  Temperatures should be in the 70s, but I will know more in another week or so.  At this time I am planning on wearing my white silk Gatsby dress with the gold and pearl mini beads.  But it is light and sleeveless, so I may have to wear a shawl, or I might have to pick something else all together if it is cold.  I have looked at clothes when we were out shopping and I have not seen anything, anywhere that interests me.  As long as I have flowers in my hair, I am not concerned much beyond that.  I did buy some makeup yesterday.  I do want my husband to look at me and think I look beautiful.  But that will come from the joy inside of me while at that moment I marry my best friend.

Oh, another gift has just been given to me.  My precious one, Geeta asked what she could do, and I asked her to give Bug and I a traditional Hindi blessing.  Vicki is doing a Celtic ceremony for us with a traditional blessing.  But we can use all the blessing we can get.  I was thinking of just a moment with Geeta, but she says she has the blessing printed out from her son Raju's engagement and so she will bring copies to share so they will understand what she says to us.  How special.  What a dear gift to share this with us.

I still have one more fairy dress to make for my sister-in-law who is the mother of my flower girl and who will be taking photos of the wedding for us.  Then more cleaning and a special present to make for my flower girl.  Lists to be poured over and new ones to be written.

But this weekend we will take a break.  Bug and I are driving down to see my Dad tomorrow. Monday we will leave after breakfast and drive across the state to Titusville to celebrate Bug's Aunt's 82 or 83rd birthday.   Then we will travel back home and start working on the yard getting it ready.  Maybe another blessing of this wedding besides of all the loved ones coming, is that we are working hard on cleaning the house and the yard.  It already looks wonderful and we have so much left to do.

And it looks like we will not be taking a 2 month honeymoon.  Reality rears its ugly head at us.  The Amazing Dr. McCutie Pie says it is not wise to take so long off the medication.  And since I want to have as much quality time with my sweet dear, precious, handsome, wonderful and amazing husband as possible, we have decided to continue the chemo every 3 - 4 weeks.  I am tolerating the treatment just fine this time.  I think part of it is my attitude, but I think the biggest part is that most of us are over getting the stomach virus, the flu, the other flu or a cold, so dealing with chemo with out the flu is much easier then the other way.  Maybe the Amazing Dr. McCutie Pie and his family might come to the wedding, maybe, he has a very busy schedule, but he knows he is considered one of our most favorite and precious friends, and if it works out we will be so very pleased to have him here.

There is a short break in the rain, so I need to go out and get something done in the yard.  And really, how much rambling does anyone need to write.  But my mind and my fingers are happy to type out the letters and words and sentences and to have happy memories written down of this time. 

Life is so wonderful, and I am so very very happy. 



 

March 9, 2013

March 9, 2013 at 2:00 pm  That is our Wedding date, mark your calendars!!  I know it is opening weekend of The Stage Company's presentation of Neil Simon's "Prisoner of Second Avenue".  That is why we are having it at 2:00 pm.  That way everyone can attend the wedding, enjoy a pot luck, have a piece of cake, toast with a glass of champagne and then go to see the play.  Bug and I will be running off after the wedding to spend the night in an undisclosed location. We will be back in the morning, but I want to get him away all to myself, just for the night.

His parents should be here later this afternoon.  We have been working on the house the last few days, cleaning and fixing, hanging our considerable art collection and generally making the house ours.  We have changed everyroom and the Feng Shui matches our energy better. 

Watch here and Facebook for more details and hotel accomodations.  Everyone is welcome, and you can bring your tent or your trailer and stay on the property.  The parents get the two bedrooms in the house.  There are places to stay here, but they are going fast.

I am so excited and happy.  It feels like we are in this little bubble right now.  Time feels different, million of things are running through each of our minds.  Everyone's happiness for us is overwhelming.  We are so blessed to have such precious wonderful people in our lives.  So much love, such joy, such excitement.  I just keep thinking about what is important and what can we skip.  Cake topper?  No, instead a bride's cake wth fresh flowers and a grooms cake with Harely and boat stuff.  Live music?   Maybe some friends will show up with instruments, maybe not.  We have discs.  Flowers?  Simple and favorites.  I know, I am just as gushing as a young bride.  I love it!

Life just keeps getting better

I woke up this morning engaged to the most amazing and wonderful man.  He was sleeping so sweetly next to me, breathing that sleep breath that lolls me to sleep.  It is the dearest lullaby to me, the sound of my loved one's regular sleep breathing.  On the other side of the bedroom door the house is filled with lullaby's as Bob and Edna, asleep next to each other.  Henry and Luna asleep in the guest room, Marina on her box in the hall, Stella next to Bob and Edna.  Their child like breathing filling the house with the sweet song of love and sleep.  Life is so amazing.

I woke up this morning around 4 am with my head swimming with marriage thoughts.  Bug was awake, his head filled with boat thoughts.  Bug was followed home by a 2009 19 foot Carolina Skiff Elite with a 115 Yamaha.  It was our Valentine present.

He loves his new boat.  He is taking an Internet course on boating safety.  He already holds his certificate for boating safety, but he thought it would be a good idea to take a refresher and to learn about Florida regulations.

 

 

And now I am watching him as he learns all about his new boat, motor, electronics such as the Loran C with GPS and he is so happy.  That makes me happy.  I will be even happier when w finally get some boating weather and I am standing next to him as he takes her out the first time and sees what she can do.  Bob and Edna have never been in a boat.  I think they are going to love this.

 

It is now my joy to plan our wedding.  He is so sweet, he says, I don't want anything fancy or big........unless you do."  I assured him that no, I do not want anything big or fancy.  Just a cover dish dinner with all our friends and loved ones who can be here as Vicki performs the 5 minute ceremony that publicly announces what we have already whispered to each other.  We are committed to each other. 

 

How can one life be so filled with such joy, such love, so many many wonderful precious people????? I have no idea why, but I have been given the most amazing life.  And I have met someone who also has had an amazing life.  Challenges, we have been lucky to have challenges.  They have helped us to see and live our lives to the fullest.  I can't believe I found him.  I can't believe that I have been given a chance to live this time of my life with this truly amazing man.

 

But the wedding:

 

When?  As soon as his parents and my Dad can be here

 

Where?  Here at our house, of course

 

Who?  Vicki will marry us and hopefully all of the people who know us that can be here will be here

 

What?  A celebration of spring and love

 

How?  Bug's parents are on their way across the country so as soon as his Mom gets here we will sit down together and start working out ideas.

 

Will there be music?  Well there will be canned music, live music?  Hmmmm we will see if anyone is available

 

Flowers?  Of course in my hair, in my arms and wherever else I can fit them; I can get these at Costco

 

Cake?  I need to get a hold of a couple of friends who do cakes and see who would be available

 

Tokens?  Bubbles and bells; OTC is on the Internet

 

Food? Cover dish

 

Beverages?  We have already started getting wine.  Champagne for a toast, beer and an open bar at the new Turtle shell pub.  Just need to pick up the champagne

 

Dress?  He asked me if I wanted him to wear his uniform.  I told him that I wanted him to wear whatever made him feel comfortable.  I was thinking of a pair of blue jeans and a Harley shirt;  He asked me if I wanted a fancy wedding dress.  No, I want to wear my white silk 1920s Gatsby dress.  It is wedding looking, but comfortable and simple and I bought it for an Opera House New Year's Event and I love it, so that quickly solves that situation.

 

Rings?  Bug is giving me his grandmother's wedding band.  It is a simple, delicate platinum band with a little etching on it.  Bug had said he wanted to take me to get a diamond.  I said I didn't want one, instead I would rather wear my grandmother's engagement ring with his grandmother's wedding band.  That just seems right.  He saw the ring and agreed.  We did look at rings yesterday quickly.  It was a jewelry store that sells sparkly huge rocks.  There wasn't a ring in the cases that I could picture on my hand.  We both agree that the grandmother's rings are perfect.  I am not saying that he can't buy me other jewelry, but my rings are set. 

 

But what about him?  He does a lot of mechanical work and work with his hands so I didn't know if he even wanted to wear one.  I looked at a lot of rings last night and I think we will settle on a Celtic band.  Vicki will be doing a Celtic based ceremony for us, so it is very fitting.

 

What if I need to get this together in a couple of weeks?  We can do that.  I mean really as long as we get the license everything else will fall into place.  I am not going to stress over this.  We just going to enjoy the time with our precious ones.

 

I have Stage 4 lung cancer.  I a 57 years old and I am getting ready to marry the man of my dreams.  And then we are going to take a 2 month honeymoon.  We are going to take off in the 5th wheel with a Harley in the back and spend time together.  Okay we will start our marriage with a 2 month honeymoon, but if the coming years are anything like the previous year, the honeymoon isn't going to end.

 

I am happy, so very very happy.

 

I am in love and I get to plan our wedding

 

and then, I get to continue this amazing and wonderful wife with him.

 

How wonderful is life!!!!!

 

I guess I need to go on a link and find out what we need for our license.

 





Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day everyone.  This morning during our coffee and tea, Bug and I exchanged valentine's cards. Then as I was sitting on his lap telling him how much I loved my valentine, he simply slipped a small black box from his pocket.  He handed it to me.  I love presents and surprises.  I opened it to find the most beautiful heart shaped opal stone with diamonds on a gold band.  Simple, elegant, and does the man know me or what?!?  Then he looked in my eyes and said, "will you marry me?" 

I said "YES!"

How sweet
how perfect
how romantic

Valentine's Day

I am about bursting I am so happy.