I spent most of the days resting on the bed. I have become very fond of our bed. I love my sheets, my quilt, the pillows. The bed and I are becoming good friends. For all those years, napping was a bother. And now, it is one of my favorite ways to spend time. Its nice not to feel like I have to do a lot of stuff. I am very satisfied with the life I lived. I was not even good with some of the things I tried. Others I picked upright way and was quite successful. I am just happy I tried things. I have never worried about whether I finished it or not, as long as I got to try it.
Today Andy, the Hospice Clergy came by for a visit. I was thrilled. Andy was in Casablanca, the first play I was in her. I also met Mary, Rich, Colin, Jack, Jan and most of the Opera House Stage Company great group of volunteers. For the next five or so years I continued to learn and work with the Stage Company learning lights, stage managing, sound and sound effects, and any thing that allowed me to play with my best friends. I mean play. It was fun, it was hard, it took a lot of hours.
And it all started with Casablanca.
A friend from when I was another person, and here we are sitting and talking and enjoying our reminiscing and just talking. We talked about the house and how he knows where we used to live, and when he drove into the gate he thought what a beautiful bright wonderful piece of property. I said, "yes, my honey had asked if I wanted to travel or buy a home. I chose the home. It was rough, there was a lot going on to get from there to here. But here we are, I'm in heaven. Our home is surrounded by the most beautiful trees and vegetation, and a lovely house, barn like with a green metal roof. But it is the love that radiates out from the home, and that was what Andy saw. I will look forward to talking to him in the future. I guess I should also bring up what people might be expecting.
I need to sleep. I rest all day, but I am not sleeping enough and I can feel it. Saturday the oxygen man came and dropped off my concentrator and some travel bottles. I am not taking the bottles anywhere. No, I see myself more and more staying at home. The only reason I am wearing this hose tied around my neck is because the meds affect my breathing, and if there is a simple solution to minimize my stop breathing, okay. I have got it tied around me several times. It is a single hose, but add in sheets and my twisting and turning and sometimes it may take a while to get away from the bed. I barely notice it, so when I lay down, but not walking around. Not yet.
Poppy and Perriwinkle are starting to meld into flock. Poppy is a bit bigger, but she is way more fuzzy than Perri. Hyacinth Ladean is part of the flock and everyone seems to be happy in their little chicken world. I sit on our tiny back porch and watch my chickens and ducks. The cats visit. The dogs want to play ball. It has been a little cooler in the mornings, and early evening and Bug and I sit and look out over our home. We are happy.
I am happy.
I feel so loved Ms Moon has made beans and rice, and then brought over blueberries and yogurt and I am not eating more, but I am eating better.
I talk to my family and beloved ones, but mostly everyone is giving me space and time. They limit their visits and their phone calls. Thank you everyone. But remember this is going to take time and lets pace ourselves. I will try and stay closer to keeping my record up dated.
But I am tired at times, so no guilt or worry I will be back as often as I can.
I am enjoying the peace.
Peace is good
accepting my life
I think this is how I feel
and I like it